Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Pressing Buttons

So you know how you get a piece of clothing and it often comes with a little baggie of extra buttons, beads and/or thread? Like the one you see pictured here that was attached to a skirt from Macy's. It contains three sew-on rhinestones and nine nearly microscopic black beads, six of which are circular and three cylindrical.

I am inclined to dump them, but then I worry -- they come with the clothing for a reason, right?

When you buy a telephone, it doesn't give you a belt to help you climb the pole if it stops working. And when you buy a cake, does it come with a bag of eggs, flour and butter on the side? No it does not.

So why the baggie with the extra trim?

It's like they're saying, "Enjoy this skirt...and why not become an apprentice seamstress while you're at it?" Some people can't sew. Those baggies are total jerks, making all non-sewers who wear clothes feel inadequate and unworthy owners of fashion.

I also think the baggies are bad PR. They imply that that your new garment is apt to fall apart at a moment's notice.

You could argue that a car comes with a spare tire. But thing is, if I lose a sequin, I am not stuck on the side of a party, forced to light flares around me until help comes.

"Hi, I'm at a bridal shower in Paramus, due south of the spinach dip. I lost a faux tortoise button somewhere between the spa gift certificate and the gag sex toy. How soon can you be here? What do you mean 'do I have the baggie'?"

And where should I store my baggies? Even my junk drawer snickers at their uselessness. How should I file them to remember which goes with which duds? I envision a game of closet Jeopardy! "Taupe thread, two bronze baubles and one large pearlescent disk..." "What is, the jazzy rayon maternity number I wore once?"

So who actually saves them, besides me? Me -- who only saves them for a few days before I realize that keeping the little baggies is surely the path to madness.

Is there a powerful tiny plastic bag lobby that seeks to get their product out at all costs? Does the illegal drug trade not generate enoough to help the industry make ends meet? Or maybe the U.S. has massive ladies trim subsidies I am unaware of?

In conclusion, what's up with all those textile repair baggies?