Friday, August 30, 2002

I am a known Terrierist.
As I harbor Stan,
a member of the Al Cutea network.

(apologies to everyone everywhere)

Thursday, August 22, 2002

Strolling on 7th avenue
by Susie

Through the pizza place window
sticking your pinky in your ear,
wielding it like a corkscrew
I see you.

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

At the West Village dog boutique
by Susie

The definition of a total bummer,
is to find that dog sweaters
are not on sale
even in the height of summer.
I don't like people who, to prove how large something is,
tell you how many times these things laid end-to-end would go around the earth.
If I ever meet someone who does that,
I will snub them.

Do this search on Google, "laid end to end would circle the earth"
and you will find out:

More than 2 billion pencils are manufactured in the US annually. If these
were laid end to end, they would circle the earth nine times.

If 75 billion tortillas were laid end to end, they would stretch across
the US 1178 times or circle the earth 338 times.

The IRS sends out 8 billion pages of forms and instructions
each year which, if laid end to end, would circle the earth 28 times.

YKK corp. annually produces fasteners for jeans which, if laid end to end, would stretch 480,000 kilometers, sufficient to circle the Earth 12 times.

If every Barbie doll ever manufactured were laid end to end, they would circle the earth three-and-one-half times.

Laid end-to-end, California's unrecycled beverage containers would circle the earth nearly seven times.

The length of the cables used in the Akashi Kaikyo Bridge bridge totals 300,000 kilometers. That's enough to circle the earth 7.5 times!

The international beer market will soon use more than 302 billion containers a year, which - if laid end-to-end - would circle the earth more than 1,050 times!

If all of the strands that make up the cables of the George Washington Bridge were laid end to end, they would circle the earth four times.

Trex co. estimates that it takes 2.7 billion plastic grocery bags out of the waste stream each year, which if laid end to end, would circle the earth about 22 times.

A billion dollar bills laid end to end would circle the globe at the equator four times.

If you laid down a trillion dollars end to end, it would circle the earth 3,882 times!

If all the glass bottles and jars that get recycled in Canada each year were laid end to end, they would circle the earth more than four times

Since 1917, U.S. Gypsum Co. has produced enough Sheetrock to circle the equator 551 times.

All the Spam cans ever produced would circle the earth almost 13 times.

Laid end to end, the sheets of paper used in personal computers each year would circle the Earth over 800 times.

Not much bigger than a fist, the human heart beats 100,000 times each day, sending about 2,000 gallons of blood coursing through vessels, which, laid end-to-end, would be long enough to circle the earth more than twice.

BUT another site says "If the blood vessels of an adult were lined up end to end, they would circle the
equator four times!"

Who's right? I want to stretch these end-to-end people end from end to find out.

The claims are too dull to check their veracity.
The recycling business is most prone to use this gimmick. I spared you so many finds! Recyclers want you to picture garbage and feel really awed and guilty. But the end-to-end bit is tired.
The people who make these stats really need to get laid end to end.
Trivial things I've read that effect my day to day routine in some small way. 1st in a series.

1. Rasberries have more fiber than any other berry.
2. Blueberries have more cancer fighting stuff than any other berry.
3. In a public bathroom, the stall closest to the door is the least used and it is usually the cleanest.
4. A cup of coffee will boost your metabolism and you will burn more calories for a few hours afterwards.
5. Caffine does not boost your metabolism.

Monday, August 12, 2002

Recently uncovered notes from Proust's editor. 1st in a series.

Yo, Marcel. What up?

Look dude, I'm all for you wanting to "Remember things past" and all, but I think you're getting a bit long-winded. I know you're going to fight me on this one, but let's lose the chapters about how good you were at "shave the ballon." Capice?



PS The stuff about the Madeline made me LOL! It's a keeper!
West Side Hwy., 8PM
a "seemed-deep-at-the-time" by Susie

Flung high in the
still light sky,
The moon resembles
one of my cast off toenails.

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

About a Dog
"Something You Never Thought You'd Hear"

a obscure memory masquerading as a poem by Susie

We'll know he's gained some weight
if his lederhosen
start to get tight.

Thursday, August 01, 2002

Untitled #1
a piece of crap by Susie

Last summer it was sharks.
This summer abductions.
Next summer put your marks
on black tie optional satanic functions.