Friday, April 29, 2005

Upcoming Gigs of Note

Upcoming Felber Gigs
I perform well under pressure. Come bask in my glory.

I am a very talented comedian. I am also very talented at not letting people know where I will be performing. Here then, is a list of a few upcoming shows I will be doing that usually have great comedians, great causes or both. At some I will MC, at others I will merely be brilliantly funny. Hope to see you -- yes you -- there.

5/5 No Hitting Comedy Show
5/6 No Relation Comedy
5/19 Charity Comedy Jam
6/10 Sweet Paprika: Hot & Live Comedy

Thursday, April 28, 2005

True Romance

PS The bit of odd smudge on my boob stage left, is actually a fake tattoo that was distributed to promote my pal Wendy's fabulous book.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Giant Tuesday Plugs!

Check out a piece I dashed off in the name of love for Cupcakes Take the Cake!

Then, come see me do a small part tonight at:

Tonight at 8pm
332 East 11th between 1 and 2

Tonight's GTN is jam-packed with great comics and special guest stars!

Francisco Guglioni a.k.a. Andres du Bouchet who was also interviewed in a fabulous Gothamist feature today welcomes:

Dan Allen
Ann Carr
Matt Goldich
Paul Sullivan

PLUS special guest stars:

Dan Cronin
Susie Felber
Jesse Joyce
Bryan Olsen

ALSO PLUS regulars Mark Douglas, Jonny Fido, Rob Gorden, and Michael

The World's Greatest Air Band!
The Tool Belt Comedy Tour!
The Men From Hefner Ten!
Walken Talk!


Then, check out stuff I did for Belabumbum, the world's finest lingerie:

Amazingly, and for no reason, I've never plugged this handy gift guide I wrote on my blog, so expect a full-on post about it coming soon.


Just do whatever it is you normally do when not thinking about me.

Cheers dears!


Monday, April 25, 2005

Tomorrow: Felber, LIVE

Late-breaking news!

Tomorrow you can see me play a small part in the absolutely amazing comedy revue:

Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions & Also There is a Game
Tomorrow, Tuesday @ 8PM
332 EAST 11th STREET
(between 1st & 2nd Aves.)

& also there is a bar right outside the theater
& also you can bring your drinks into the theater.


Friday, April 22, 2005

Stray Pride, explained

Ever wondered about the stupid title of this blog? I have. I have often wondered why it's so stupid. Extreme laze is the only thing that has kept me from changing it. But the title comes from a brilliant idiotic idea I had to take pictures of my mutt against a rainbow background and then market a line of Stray Pride products to encourage mutt adoption and to be sold in my West Village hood. Maybe not the best idea, but maybe not the worst.

The only thing that has prevented me from making and marketing these products is -- you guessed it -- extreme laze.

Here are two of the test photos we took last year. "We" being my best buddy Shana, who did the 'tographing. All I did was the concept, props and hair & makeup.* Enjoy and remember that you can say you knew me when, once my line of cunning Stray Pride Day products rocket me to fame and fortune.



*No, I didn't put makeup on my dog. That was a joke. I don't want to appear on an upcoming episode of Animal Cops for going all Mary Kay on my dog.
Are you there Watson? It's me, Margaret.

Testing 1, 2, 3, testing.

Attempting my 1st-ever photo on this blog.

Implement picture I took on Sunday of my beloved Stan basking in 5, 4, 3, 2...


Oh niiiiice!

A small step for man, one giant leap for dork-kind.
Who are you. Who who, who who?

FYI, I was out sick from work yesterday. And yesterday, I was tempted to write about the more fascinating details of my illness here. But then something quickly dawned on me, and no, it wasn't that my illness would be no treat for anyone to read about. I realized I've never written about my day job here. Not once.

Suddenly this fact began to loom larger than my piddly sickness. As far as my blog readers know, I make my money via magic beans and the occasional comedy road gig.

So I asked myself... why haven't I mentioned my work here? And before I answered that I realized for the first time that someone or more than someone from work has probably happened upon my blog through the magic of Google. I realized that upon happening upon my blog, someone from work would think, "Ah ha! I have found her super secret blog! Now I shall learn what she really thinks of us!" They might also think, "Stray Pride? Ah ha! She is gay, maybe? Oh wonderful, now I shall not only learn about what she thinks of us, I will get juicy lesbian dirt and forward it to everyone in the office!"

And then I felt bad for that hypothetical co-worker person, for they would most definitely leave this blog sorely disappointed.

So what do you do, Susie?

Right. OK, here's the deal... after freelancing for years and proudly scraping my bucks together as a writer and performer, for the past year I have been on staff at a basic cable network. A whole year! What do I do? I write stuff. I edit stuff. And sometimes, I do some other stuff.

That's all I'm prepared to say about my job and there are many reasons why. A very good reason is that even if I am telling you about good and wonderful things at the cable network that shall remain nameless, it doesn't feel right to talk about it. No one in my office thinks what they are doing is out there for public scrutiny, and so reporting on it seems wrong even if I'm just telling you that everyone at this network writes their name on their food in the office fridge, except me. My "Just 2 Good" blue cheese salad dressing has not been Sharpie'd with my mark and this, my devil may care office fridge attitude, gives me a thrill, makes me feel like I live on the edge.*

Plus, I simply don't want to be dooced. I think it's a credit to my incredibly large brain that I sensed it was quite possible that writing about work could get me dooced long before I had ever heard of the word dooced.

So, I hope you have enjoyed getting a (incredibly vague) description of what I do. I hope you are not disappointed that I won't be telling you anymore about it. I also hope that you are not disappointed to find there are no descriptions of hot lesbian sex here, my bizarre blog title notwithstanding. In any case, if you would like descriptions of hot sex, may I recommend you leave that in the capable hands of a professional? OK I will recommend that.

ttyl lovely blog readers,


* There, you've gotten one extremely juicy detail about my workplace... happy now?**

** I should note that everyone writes their names on their food even though no food has been poached, and futhermore, no one here seems to be the type to poach another person's food. But they write their names on stuff anyway as insurance against food being snarfed by a greedy co-worker who currently doesn't exist, but it seems like paltry insurance. If you are terrified of someone eating your food, why not do something to really ward them off like draw a skull and crossbones or tape a recent picture of David Gest to it? Just a thought.

Monday, April 18, 2005

"It's a million-to-one chance, but it just might work!"

Didja know my mom's a romance writer? For real. Her latest book, Alas My Love, came out April first. You can see it/buy it here or here or just saunter into any ol' bookstore. Actually, I just remembered that on this book, I got to help rewrite the copy on the back cover, reprinted here. But, don't judge a book by its back cover (even though that back cover copy really sings, no?)

If you want some background on my mom and her books, check out these FAQ I wrote eons ago, right here. Amazingly the FAQ have held up because amazingly, a) she's still my mom, and b) she's still a romance writer, and c) I'm that good y'all y'all. <--- yes, I wrote "y'all" twice for effect. Of course, the effect might be that I look like an uncool twerp. Same old, same old, right? Anywho...

I have a super secret confession.

Are you ready?


I entered mom to win Live with Regis and Kelly's 15th annual Mom's Dream Come True Contest.

I did a quick search and found two previous winners of what I like to call LWR&K'SMDCTC. One mom was surprised with the old contest game show standby wowie zowie prize: A NEW CAR! Another got to meet her idol, Dolly Parton.

Now, I'm all for cars and I'm all for Dolly, but my mom's dream is actually and truly related to their show.

You see, many times, my award-winning romance authoring momma has sighed and said, "If only Kelly would feature my book... maybe as a summer beach read..." Then she punctuates this sentence with another, slightly larger, sigh.

So when I found this contest, I wrote Regis and Kelly a heart-wrenching letter, sent in the required photo of us together and I have my fingers crossed.

But I'm not stupid. I know that chances are this will not happen. A million viewers are sending in their mom's dreams. I'll bet it's a scene like Miracle on 34th Street in their production offices right now. As they spill the bags of mail on Regis and Kelly's desk, they find they can't read the heart-wrenching requests fast enough: "My mom needs new teeth!", "My mom only dreams of having sushi with Peter Frampton!", and "Help my mom get her tattoo of having sushi with Peter Frampton removed!"

Now my mom's dream would cost them nothing and yet it would mean the world to her. And mainly, and hopefully, it would mean way more people would read what she writes day in and day out and then the day after that again. And that is what she truly wants.

So in conclusion...

I gave the letter my all. I submitted a rather cute picture of us. The dream is incredibly do-able, my aim is true and the cause (her books) is worthy.

But my mom actually winning this contest?

It's a one-in-a-million shot.

But as Terry Pratchett has pointed out many times, one-in-a-million chances work exactly 90% of the time...

Tuesday, April 12, 2005


I'm just back from skiing in Utah.

(insert snort of derision here)

I learned a few things about Utah.

I share them with you here.

1. Never order anything described as "Thai" at a ski lodge.

I guess that seems obvious now but remember that the altitude can do funny things to a gal. Especially when the gal has downhilled it all day and downed her weight in sake all night. Then a spicy Thai wrap suddenly looks really appealing. But then you wake up in the morning next to a plate of iceberg lettuce, carrots and cardboard. The worst part: you paid 10 bucks for it.

2. You maybe tempted to buy a "Snowboarding is not a Crime" T-shirt.

I was tempted to buy a "Snowboarding is not a Crime" T-shirt for my mom. I thought that would be hee-larious. But unfortunately, the shirt didn't come with a Salvation Army donation form, so I passed.

3. Skiing through snowy cliffy sunny Utah scenery is so impossibly beautiful that afterwards real life will seem like a eternal let down.

'Nuff said.