Sunday, July 29, 2007

I am in England.

Imagine my shock to wake up and find some rapscallion has been sketching my cabin!
our cabin

What's next? Some rogue oil painter will sneak up to my mother's backyard and capture a likeness of my dog? And how will I sleep wondering if, in the night, a sculptor will break in and make a bust of my spoon collection?

Friday, July 27, 2007

Holland onesie
While I was making this onesie featuring the Holland family coat of arms/crest/whatever you call it, my water broke.

And now exactly 9 months later -- as long as it took to take him from concept to completion -- he's here and playing with the dog, eating bananas and laughing, completely unaware of the trail of destruction he left when he took my hormones on a joyride, busted out of my body a la Alien and then smashed my baby-hardened heart into tiny uneven pieces.
7 21 07 041

I am really excited to see family and ex-pat friends, very excited to have a full two weeks in England-o (burglars: feel free to break in, but know that I've lent my pad to a pack of vicious pit bulls and the annual Asbestos Fanciers Convention) and I am ready to roll because I haven't had a vacation since 2/2006, skiing down large mountains in Utah and doing all those fun things one can't do with a baby on board.

I may post from the road. No doubt you are all clamouring for hi-res pictures of beans on toast!

What? I GOTTA PACK?!?! OMG! So wait, we've got a coat of arms but no butler? What up with that?



Thursday, July 26, 2007

How to Stay Thin?

Shun fat people! Lock 'em all up together, on Guac-tonamayo Bay.

OK, that was like, the worst joke ever. I'm a busy woman, people. I'm trying to get my organic earth business off the ground. Organic earth? Tell me more!

Yeah well it's dirt from the Catskill mountains that's certified 100% organic with no added chemicals. That means no nitrates or dirt stablizers! Also we vow never to use child labor.
They like to weed
Baby labor, sure. But no child labor.

But the real difference? We disturb no native plants when we hand-mine our soil. And if we do disturb a native plant -- remember, these are Native American plants, so we do not want to disturb the gods/start feeling guilty about those freakin' Indians again -- yes if we do disturb a native plant, we put it in a little bed. Not a flower bed that's all exposed to the harsh elements, but an actual bed, made with bamboo sheets and comforters made only with the down of ducks who died of natural causes (a doctor is on hand to confirm the ducks were not stressed out at the time of their deaths).

And Felber's Organics will ship this signature heady mineral rich/dog poop rich compost of potential life to you in biodegradable recycled paper and deliver it to you without increasing your carbon footprint by putting it on the backs of our fair trade workers. Fair trade workers? Yeah, they are workers we got fair and square when we traded in bushels of our lard ass Americans for energetic skinny little foreigners who appreciate our open air gluten-free, peanut-free (everything-free because we give them nothing) work environment. Not to mention our commitment to natural health care.
7 21 07 069
Our all-natural health care? Tincture of Echinacea and "stop whining already."

And finally, here's Felber's Organics brand-new slogan (subject to change):

Because a product should not only work, it should make you feel like a fucking saint.

7 21 07 068
Shareholders Meeting at Felber's Organics HQ

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Neither Rain, Nor Sleet, Nor Streets Blowing Up...

The offices at the network I work for are closed today due to the massive (and scary) pipe burst yesterday. This is why they are showing reruns in daytime and many good worker folk are enjoying the urban, summer equivalent of a snow day -- "a steam day."

But we online folk can not be stopped! We are working from various undisclosed locations and also blogging our buns off.

Oh my undisclosed location? A lovely, sunny Panera with free WiFi that's located within a luxury outdoor shopping mall that overlooks the Husdon river. I can see Grant's tomb (quick, who's buried there?) and I'm right next to a superfund site. Jealous, much?

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Susie Felber Fan Art

Yes, Susie Felber fan art, by Victor.

<-- OMG! I'm a monkey! I hate monkeys, but I love this pic. Thanks Vic!

And if you haven't seen it, allow me to flog to a hilarious interview I did with Victor last summer.... read "The Best Albino Code" here.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Where I'm at

I've been taking pictures of gnomes and blogging my buns off here.
Catskill Gnomes
Exhibit: Gnomes