STOP THE PRESSES!
This just in from Paul Sullivan, the director of the film I just shot in Florida. Come on down to catch this very hot off the cameras sneak peek! What follows is from Paul:
On Wednesday, September 10th, come to the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theater
during "Hump Night" to see the unveiling of the first teaser trailer for the
feature science fiction comedy "First Time Caller."
The film is my debut as a feature director after several years directing
short films and producing for "The Daily Show", Animal Planet and PBS. The
script is written by Emmy and WGA nominated writer Ted Sullivan, Sean
McPharlin and myself.
The cast features many well known faces from TV and movies:
David Alan Basche ("Three Sisters", "Miss Match")
Patrick Warburton ("The Tick", Puddy from "Seinfeld")
Thomas Gibson (Greg from "Dharma and Greg.")
Siobahn Fallon ("Men in Black", "Saturday Night Live" and "Dancer in the
Dark.")
Chris Elliott ("Get a Life", "Letterman", "Groundhog Day", "There's
Something About Mary")
Ed Helms ("The Daily Show with Jon Stewart")
Mo Rocca ("The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and the new show "Smoking
Gun.")
Doc Dougherty ("One Life to Live")
and
Fred Willard ("This is Spinal Tap", "Fernwood Tonight", "Waiting for
Guffman", "Best in Show" and "A Mighty Wind.")
and also comics and performers known to the New York and L.A. stand up
scene:
Patrick Gallo
CeCe Pleasants
Dan Cronin
Ritch Duncan
Susie Felber
Susannah Keagle
James Oakes
P. J. Marino
Jonathan Corbett
Brody Stevens
Livia Scott
Catch the first public glimpse of the film and also enjoy Hump Night, one of
the best stand up shows in the city, hosted by Sean Conroy
UCB Theater
307 w 26 st just west of 8th ave
New York City
11 PM
212 366 9176 for reservations
Hope to see you there and pass this information along....
Paul Sullivan
Sunday, August 17, 2003
9035 Matches for eating shit in your Personal Network:
I just searched interests on Friendster* and got bored after my first search.
Still when my second search turned up 9035 people connected to me who were interested in "eating shit" I was quite giddy.
Like this guy, an alleged 19 year old from San Francisco.
Update! I am a moron, that link does not work for you outsiders and I'm not the picture posting kind of blog gal. Suffice to say the aforementioned dudes picture was of a small serious looking dog in a monkey costume.
*I only joined Friendster this month, so apologies if this discovery is old chapeau.
I just searched interests on Friendster* and got bored after my first search.
Still when my second search turned up 9035 people connected to me who were interested in "eating shit" I was quite giddy.
Like this guy, an alleged 19 year old from San Francisco.
Update! I am a moron, that link does not work for you outsiders and I'm not the picture posting kind of blog gal. Suffice to say the aforementioned dudes picture was of a small serious looking dog in a monkey costume.
*I only joined Friendster this month, so apologies if this discovery is old chapeau.
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Every Monday in September at Chetty Red
I'll be starring as Veruka Salt in a hard rock musical based on Willy Wonka!
Dave Juskow will be singing all the other parts and has written orignal songs as well.
Update 9/3: I've heard then whole sheebang and it's fabulous. The new arrangements for old songs rock and their orignal songs are dreamy. It's about 45 minutes of solid music and good twist.
I'll be starring as Veruka Salt in a hard rock musical based on Willy Wonka!
Dave Juskow will be singing all the other parts and has written orignal songs as well.
Update 9/3: I've heard then whole sheebang and it's fabulous. The new arrangements for old songs rock and their orignal songs are dreamy. It's about 45 minutes of solid music and good twist.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Free Basil!
Who:
Wouldn't want free basil?
What:
FREE GAWD DANG BASIL!
Where:
Manhattan's West Village
In front of the doorman building, across from the Laundromat, a stone's throw from a new salon called "Sparkle."
Charles street (between Waverly Pl. and Greenwich Aves.)
Around the corner from Waverly on the west side of the street
When:
24-7
Until the first frost or people pick it all, whichever comes first.
How:
Look to the plantings to the left of the door. There your will see yellow rose bushes, badly pruned scrubby bushes and then a few huge basil plants that are almost as big as bushes with glossy, healthy looking leaves.
The plants are not guarded or fenced and the doorman isn't outside. If you just take a few leaves they'll never miss it. Plus, these basil plants are rapidly approaching a flowering, which should be avoided. By pinching them back and snicking some for yourself, you will actually be doing them a favor.
Why:
The basil is part of a raised bed that is far out of reach of even the most talented Great Dane's pee range.
Can you say Brushetta?
It's free.
Who:
Wouldn't want free basil?
What:
FREE GAWD DANG BASIL!
Where:
Manhattan's West Village
In front of the doorman building, across from the Laundromat, a stone's throw from a new salon called "Sparkle."
Charles street (between Waverly Pl. and Greenwich Aves.)
Around the corner from Waverly on the west side of the street
When:
24-7
Until the first frost or people pick it all, whichever comes first.
How:
Look to the plantings to the left of the door. There your will see yellow rose bushes, badly pruned scrubby bushes and then a few huge basil plants that are almost as big as bushes with glossy, healthy looking leaves.
The plants are not guarded or fenced and the doorman isn't outside. If you just take a few leaves they'll never miss it. Plus, these basil plants are rapidly approaching a flowering, which should be avoided. By pinching them back and snicking some for yourself, you will actually be doing them a favor.
Why:
The basil is part of a raised bed that is far out of reach of even the most talented Great Dane's pee range.
Can you say Brushetta?
It's free.
Thursday, July 31, 2003
I like Gawker. I like the tone of voice, the gossip and the links. But Gawker is beginning to wear on me. Gawker makes a career out of telling you what isn't cool anymore. Trucker hats, Friendster, MOBs that aren't of the original ilk, saying "peeps", etc..
I'm tired of being "over" things. I long for publications that go out on a limb and tell you what is cool. Even though they're usually late, grossly exaggerating the facts or dead wrong, it takes more balls, no?
See the recent overblown New York magazine article on the Catskills for example.
The article claims that the Catskill mountain winds make the bugs not a problem. Please tell that to my spotty inflamed ass. If you don't wear enough Deet to ensure you're certain to have 5-headed babies, you will be bitten to small uneven pieces.
The article also tells of pie in the sky properties for sale. You CAN NOT get a charming farmhouse "fixer-upper" with privacy and land for less then a Manhattan one bedroom... unless it's on a major country highway with screaming traffic, has no plumbing and also features a dog breeder living next door with 50 kennels full of baying huskies.
The article also doesn't tell of bears who overturn your composter for fun. I will.
Oh and the article profiles a journalist I went to college with. I was embarrassed when they claimed he and his girlfriend, "painted the dining room to match an orange Hermès shopping bag." I wonder, was he?
I love the rustic, homey area of the Catskills I'm in (Not telling! Please don't move there!) but New York magazine needs to put the cap back on the glue.
Since I became a weekender in them there sticks (me a writer and comedian with my British journalist arm candy and our stray dog! So sexy!) long before the article, maybe I am finally a cool trailblazer!
But as I well know and as I imagine Gawker would confirm, once you've made it to cool, you're no longer cool. I worry that, hoist by their own petard, the same may soon apply to Gawker.
I'm tired of being "over" things. I long for publications that go out on a limb and tell you what is cool. Even though they're usually late, grossly exaggerating the facts or dead wrong, it takes more balls, no?
See the recent overblown New York magazine article on the Catskills for example.
The article claims that the Catskill mountain winds make the bugs not a problem. Please tell that to my spotty inflamed ass. If you don't wear enough Deet to ensure you're certain to have 5-headed babies, you will be bitten to small uneven pieces.
The article also tells of pie in the sky properties for sale. You CAN NOT get a charming farmhouse "fixer-upper" with privacy and land for less then a Manhattan one bedroom... unless it's on a major country highway with screaming traffic, has no plumbing and also features a dog breeder living next door with 50 kennels full of baying huskies.
The article also doesn't tell of bears who overturn your composter for fun. I will.
Oh and the article profiles a journalist I went to college with. I was embarrassed when they claimed he and his girlfriend, "painted the dining room to match an orange Hermès shopping bag." I wonder, was he?
I love the rustic, homey area of the Catskills I'm in (Not telling! Please don't move there!) but New York magazine needs to put the cap back on the glue.
Since I became a weekender in them there sticks (me a writer and comedian with my British journalist arm candy and our stray dog! So sexy!) long before the article, maybe I am finally a cool trailblazer!
But as I well know and as I imagine Gawker would confirm, once you've made it to cool, you're no longer cool. I worry that, hoist by their own petard, the same may soon apply to Gawker.
As I mentioned, I got a small part in a real live indie feature. I just got back from Melbourne. No, the one in Florida, baby. It was a total blast. I have great faith in everyone associated with this film. The strong script, ace directing and blend of up and coming comedians with established comedy actors will make this film. The crew was great and though I was only there for a week the actors (save me) were great. My acting goal is and always is, "to not suck." Beyond that I can't judge myself.
Now I almost understand why actors do those Thor-awful TV interviews that begin and end with; "It was wonderful. He was wonderful. Oh yeah, so-and-so is really brilliant. It was so great working with X."
See now I know what they're editing out: The 4 AM group swimming, the music and the singing, the fabulous meals, the crew member who gets drunk and tells everyone a sexual tidbit that makes one wonder if it's more disturbing that we all know they did it or that not one other person had ever even thought about doing it.
Or maybe that was just our set.
Read more about the fun, talented bunch in another article about the movie that came out on Sunday.
Sadly the pictures didn't make it to the web, but whateve.
Now I almost understand why actors do those Thor-awful TV interviews that begin and end with; "It was wonderful. He was wonderful. Oh yeah, so-and-so is really brilliant. It was so great working with X."
See now I know what they're editing out: The 4 AM group swimming, the music and the singing, the fabulous meals, the crew member who gets drunk and tells everyone a sexual tidbit that makes one wonder if it's more disturbing that we all know they did it or that not one other person had ever even thought about doing it.
Or maybe that was just our set.
Read more about the fun, talented bunch in another article about the movie that came out on Sunday.
Sadly the pictures didn't make it to the web, but whateve.
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Blogging into the Sunset
Will all of us be blogging 10, 20 years from now? How about 50 years from now? I traveled far into the future just to find out. Here's a piece from a random blog I found. It's not that popular from what I can tell, but it seems fairly representative of the blogs from the mid 21st century. It was titled, "It All Depends." Note: If some of the text seems to have funky characters, it's because it's very hard to cut and paste from future blogs to our modern day ones...
12/3/2065
Sorry I haven't posted in sooooo long. I took my comments system down because I was tired of all the trash talk from the anti-human peeps.
My kid called today. She says, "Hey mom! How's it going?" I'm like, HELLO, I'm in a goddamn nursing home, how do you think I am? I'm served my choice of tuna or egg salad every freakin' day (note: the tuna rocks, actually) and my roommate screams through the night and barks during the day. My daughter's husband is still an asshole (surprise!). He's got eyes that are indistinguishable from the common weasel. Just do an image search on Google for Dave Sheaderbaum and you'll see what I mean. I'm soooooo glad none of the grandkids got his rat-like features. I'd post a photo of him but Brittney down the hall in 3D broke my scanner trying to update her Korn nostalgia site. That woman was born senile. I had something else I wanted to write but I can't remember it...and they've come to change my Depend so sayonara for now!
12/4/2065
Not much today, but check out this link that was sent to me. Looks like Gawker has the dirt on the aliens that took over Earth last week. IMHO the Kzrandish are much better looking and they don't wear those annoying hats. I would love to know how they get their tentacles so shiny! I say if we're going to be ruled by aliens, you just gotta deal, but I've got a terrible feeling that these guys are going to be even more annoying than our Sendok rulers were.
Oh damn. Brittney says she needs the computer and they haven't come to change my personal undergarment. This blows worse than the egg salad. I'm still bummed that everyone 30 years younger than me is immortal thanks to that new fangled alien technology. Not fair! Wahhhh! Ah well, what are you going to do?
12/5/2065
Oh. Mi. Gawd.
Was checking my site meter today. I expect to get hits looking for naked pictures of the Kzrandish leader, but what I didn't expect was someone searching for my asshole son-in-law. So I checked the IP and it's him. He was searching for his own name! I guess he's got nothing better to do since the aliens enslaved him and made him temp on the Mothership. As he's the one who made me go into the nursing home rather than live with him on his huge (but oh-so tacky) digs on Mars all I can say is BURN! The upside is they've probably anally probed him good. Then again, I wouldn't mind being anally probed by a whole Kzrandish platoon, but that's another story! Ah, a gal can dream... Oh! I think I've wet myself. Ciao for now!
12/6/2065
Ha! Check this out. Gawker overheard a Zrreftian at a downtown tourist trap drunkenly boasting that the aliens made the under 65 set immortal just so they can work for them forever. I could just die of happiness! Dave -- jealous much? Hahahahaha!
Rats. Even typing that laughter made me leak pee. Whateve dudes, I recently found I can get my stash way cheaper online.
12/7/2065
It's now the law that the word "snarky" must be printed in every article, everyday. They say it's the aliens way of breaking down our will. I'm sad to say, it's working. Boo aliens. These alien oppressors really are oppressive. I have half a mind to send my used diapers to the Mothership. Naw, I'm too much of a pussy and besides I'm not ready to be vaporized yet! Later. It's MC Tuna time.
Will all of us be blogging 10, 20 years from now? How about 50 years from now? I traveled far into the future just to find out. Here's a piece from a random blog I found. It's not that popular from what I can tell, but it seems fairly representative of the blogs from the mid 21st century. It was titled, "It All Depends." Note: If some of the text seems to have funky characters, it's because it's very hard to cut and paste from future blogs to our modern day ones...
12/3/2065
Sorry I haven't posted in sooooo long. I took my comments system down because I was tired of all the trash talk from the anti-human peeps.
My kid called today. She says, "Hey mom! How's it going?" I'm like, HELLO, I'm in a goddamn nursing home, how do you think I am? I'm served my choice of tuna or egg salad every freakin' day (note: the tuna rocks, actually) and my roommate screams through the night and barks during the day. My daughter's husband is still an asshole (surprise!). He's got eyes that are indistinguishable from the common weasel. Just do an image search on Google for Dave Sheaderbaum and you'll see what I mean. I'm soooooo glad none of the grandkids got his rat-like features. I'd post a photo of him but Brittney down the hall in 3D broke my scanner trying to update her Korn nostalgia site. That woman was born senile. I had something else I wanted to write but I can't remember it...and they've come to change my Depend so sayonara for now!
12/4/2065
Not much today, but check out this link that was sent to me. Looks like Gawker has the dirt on the aliens that took over Earth last week. IMHO the Kzrandish are much better looking and they don't wear those annoying hats. I would love to know how they get their tentacles so shiny! I say if we're going to be ruled by aliens, you just gotta deal, but I've got a terrible feeling that these guys are going to be even more annoying than our Sendok rulers were.
Oh damn. Brittney says she needs the computer and they haven't come to change my personal undergarment. This blows worse than the egg salad. I'm still bummed that everyone 30 years younger than me is immortal thanks to that new fangled alien technology. Not fair! Wahhhh! Ah well, what are you going to do?
12/5/2065
Oh. Mi. Gawd.
Was checking my site meter today. I expect to get hits looking for naked pictures of the Kzrandish leader, but what I didn't expect was someone searching for my asshole son-in-law. So I checked the IP and it's him. He was searching for his own name! I guess he's got nothing better to do since the aliens enslaved him and made him temp on the Mothership. As he's the one who made me go into the nursing home rather than live with him on his huge (but oh-so tacky) digs on Mars all I can say is BURN! The upside is they've probably anally probed him good. Then again, I wouldn't mind being anally probed by a whole Kzrandish platoon, but that's another story! Ah, a gal can dream... Oh! I think I've wet myself. Ciao for now!
12/6/2065
Ha! Check this out. Gawker overheard a Zrreftian at a downtown tourist trap drunkenly boasting that the aliens made the under 65 set immortal just so they can work for them forever. I could just die of happiness! Dave -- jealous much? Hahahahaha!
Rats. Even typing that laughter made me leak pee. Whateve dudes, I recently found I can get my stash way cheaper online.
12/7/2065
It's now the law that the word "snarky" must be printed in every article, everyday. They say it's the aliens way of breaking down our will. I'm sad to say, it's working. Boo aliens. These alien oppressors really are oppressive. I have half a mind to send my used diapers to the Mothership. Naw, I'm too much of a pussy and besides I'm not ready to be vaporized yet! Later. It's MC Tuna time.
Sunday, July 20, 2003
The Real Wizard of Was
I think I saw Michael Musto ride by on his bike a week or so ago. I googled the phrase 'Michael Musto Bike' and found a genuinely sort of cute article from '99 about him and his bike. So now I'm pretty sure I saw Michael Musto ride by on his bike! While walking my little dog too!
I thought that was pretty cool especially since when it comes to fingering celebs in my midst I'm usually as talented as Mister Magoo at an orgy.
Then I found this:
"...I saw Village Voice gossip columnist Michael Musto ride by on his bike, something I've seen many times in the past five years. "
- writer Jami Attenberg, 6/4/03
So...I'm reporting a sighting that's not fresh, totally unremarkable and I'm gossiping about merely seeing a gossip columnist. I would really feel pathetic if I didn't have a red hot sighting to report!
Today I saw Joe Franklin get out of a car on West 4th street, a stone's throw from Stonewall on Christopher street and not 10 feet from my bank!
My bank! Joe was outside of, and not far from Chase. Chase does not charge me fees when I use their bank machines. That's how connected I am!
You want cutting edge? You got it!
Because I obviously don't.
I think I saw Michael Musto ride by on his bike a week or so ago. I googled the phrase 'Michael Musto Bike' and found a genuinely sort of cute article from '99 about him and his bike. So now I'm pretty sure I saw Michael Musto ride by on his bike! While walking my little dog too!
I thought that was pretty cool especially since when it comes to fingering celebs in my midst I'm usually as talented as Mister Magoo at an orgy.
Then I found this:
"...I saw Village Voice gossip columnist Michael Musto ride by on his bike, something I've seen many times in the past five years. "
- writer Jami Attenberg, 6/4/03
So...I'm reporting a sighting that's not fresh, totally unremarkable and I'm gossiping about merely seeing a gossip columnist. I would really feel pathetic if I didn't have a red hot sighting to report!
Today I saw Joe Franklin get out of a car on West 4th street, a stone's throw from Stonewall on Christopher street and not 10 feet from my bank!
My bank! Joe was outside of, and not far from Chase. Chase does not charge me fees when I use their bank machines. That's how connected I am!
You want cutting edge? You got it!
Because I obviously don't.
Simpletons
"Everything you ever wanted to know about simplification is in the pages of Janet Luhrs's The Simple Living Guide. It is truly an encyclopedic work."
- Elaine St. James
author of Simplify Your Life and Living the Simple Life.
Source: simpleliving.com
I am obsessed by and am thoroughly suspect of people who make their living through "simplicity."
In the interest of full disclosure I come from a pack rat family that admires the pluck of the Collier brothers (Collyer?) and religiously practices the ancient art of Fucked Shui.
Yeah, I'll admit there may be quite a few skeletons in the Felber family closet. To wit, we haven't seen uncle Herman since he tried to fetch his rain slicker.
"Everything you ever wanted to know about simplification is in the pages of Janet Luhrs's The Simple Living Guide. It is truly an encyclopedic work."
- Elaine St. James
author of Simplify Your Life and Living the Simple Life.
Source: simpleliving.com
I am obsessed by and am thoroughly suspect of people who make their living through "simplicity."
In the interest of full disclosure I come from a pack rat family that admires the pluck of the Collier brothers (Collyer?) and religiously practices the ancient art of Fucked Shui.
Yeah, I'll admit there may be quite a few skeletons in the Felber family closet. To wit, we haven't seen uncle Herman since he tried to fetch his rain slicker.
Friday, July 18, 2003
I started thinking about how the mass of gossipy New York blogs reminded me of Foucault's panopticon.
So I started re-reading Foucault.
And I remembered why
I'm so glad
to be finished with being a student.
Now you'll excuse me, this former pretentious wanna be intellectual has schlocky horoscopes to write.
So I started re-reading Foucault.
And I remembered why
I'm so glad
to be finished with being a student.
Now you'll excuse me, this former pretentious wanna be intellectual has schlocky horoscopes to write.
Friday, July 11, 2003
I'm Ready For My Close Up
No, not really.
Not really ready, that is. But I thought the following might be more interesting than telling you about my annual morning jog.
Looksie here kids, I'm going to have a small part in a movie.
I'm way psyched and I'll believe it's really happening about 6 years after I've done it.
No, not really.
Not really ready, that is. But I thought the following might be more interesting than telling you about my annual morning jog.
Looksie here kids, I'm going to have a small part in a movie.
I'm way psyched and I'll believe it's really happening about 6 years after I've done it.
Saturday, July 05, 2003
When I see an anonymous blog where someone hasn't posted in a good long while, I have wondered and worried, "What if this person has died?" Their blog might just be floating like a silver granola bar wrapper lolling down a dirt road. Ohmigawd what if?"
Then, fearing they are dead I notice that their cute complaining about the lady in line in front of them at Bed Bath & Beyond (who held them up trying to get a price check on glass cookie mix gift jars) suddenly seems a tad less poignant. Seeing as I don't know them and this is what they have left behind for eternity, well it would almost be sadder than their death. Or maybe just embarrassing.
Well I'm alive and I'm too tired and hopped up on Crystal Light cocktails to be deep or to even be trivial in an interesting way. But I am egotistical enough to worry that my 3 loyal readers are worried sick about me and so I find I am able to be a self-promoter. Thank the cocktails and the magic of cut unt paste for this rare Felber plug.
This coming Tuesday I'm appearing in:
Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions and also there is a game.
GTN as it is known is @ St. Marks Theater
94 St. Marks Place between First Ave. and Avenue A and also it is slightly underground
8PM
$5 at the door only
b.y.o.b. but in a non a-hole way, s'il vous plait.
And I'm be doing something all new kitty cats. Thor willing it won't suck.
Ahhh, but the show won't suck as it's owned and operated by brilliant M. Andres du Bouchet.
Then, fearing they are dead I notice that their cute complaining about the lady in line in front of them at Bed Bath & Beyond (who held them up trying to get a price check on glass cookie mix gift jars) suddenly seems a tad less poignant. Seeing as I don't know them and this is what they have left behind for eternity, well it would almost be sadder than their death. Or maybe just embarrassing.
Well I'm alive and I'm too tired and hopped up on Crystal Light cocktails to be deep or to even be trivial in an interesting way. But I am egotistical enough to worry that my 3 loyal readers are worried sick about me and so I find I am able to be a self-promoter. Thank the cocktails and the magic of cut unt paste for this rare Felber plug.
This coming Tuesday I'm appearing in:
Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions and also there is a game.
GTN as it is known is @ St. Marks Theater
94 St. Marks Place between First Ave. and Avenue A and also it is slightly underground
8PM
$5 at the door only
b.y.o.b. but in a non a-hole way, s'il vous plait.
And I'm be doing something all new kitty cats. Thor willing it won't suck.
Ahhh, but the show won't suck as it's owned and operated by brilliant M. Andres du Bouchet.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Put the Kibosh on it?
I have a tingly feeling that the word "kibosh" has gotten too hot too quickly. I wish to Thor I could tell you more.
Is it Batsense, Spideysense or the fact that yesterday I heard a certain word used enthusiastically by a cut rate DJ and then saw it in Vanity Fair's borderline pedophilia issue the same day? To show it was in the knowsies, Vanity Fair employed the barfy cutesy "kiboshing."
Put on your galoshes because soon we're gonna be up to our armpits in kiboshes.
You've been warned.
PS Tonight I'm going to the Hendrick Goltzius opening at the Met (hope i get to meet him!) and then doing a spot @ The Shark Show.
I have a tingly feeling that the word "kibosh" has gotten too hot too quickly. I wish to Thor I could tell you more.
Is it Batsense, Spideysense or the fact that yesterday I heard a certain word used enthusiastically by a cut rate DJ and then saw it in Vanity Fair's borderline pedophilia issue the same day? To show it was in the knowsies, Vanity Fair employed the barfy cutesy "kiboshing."
Put on your galoshes because soon we're gonna be up to our armpits in kiboshes.
You've been warned.
PS Tonight I'm going to the Hendrick Goltzius opening at the Met (hope i get to meet him!) and then doing a spot @ The Shark Show.
Tuesday, June 24, 2003
Question
If someone wore a trucker hat that said, "TRUCKER HATS SUCK" would it then be considered cool again?
Just Wondering.
If someone wore a trucker hat that said, "TRUCKER HATS SUCK" would it then be considered cool again?
Just Wondering.
Jumping their Shark
Hey stalkers of Felber,
This Thursday night I'm pleased to be appearing at The Shark Show.
The Shark Show
Thursday @ 10pm
People's Improv Theater a.k.a. The PIT
154 W 29th Street
$6
Warning: new Felber material may contain traces of...
Garfield, Paul Lombardi and Manhattan Flash Mob's.
I'll try extra hard not to talk about...
Spike vs. Spike TV or my upcoming trial investigating possible improper tips I may or may not have received from Sam Waksal.
I promise I won't talk about...
President Bush slipping on his Segway, an event that was hack fodder before it happened. I don't know how, actually, but I think it's something to do with the space/time continuum.
Hey stalkers of Felber,
This Thursday night I'm pleased to be appearing at The Shark Show.
The Shark Show
Thursday @ 10pm
People's Improv Theater a.k.a. The PIT
154 W 29th Street
$6
Warning: new Felber material may contain traces of...
Garfield, Paul Lombardi and Manhattan Flash Mob's.
I'll try extra hard not to talk about...
Spike vs. Spike TV or my upcoming trial investigating possible improper tips I may or may not have received from Sam Waksal.
I promise I won't talk about...
President Bush slipping on his Segway, an event that was hack fodder before it happened. I don't know how, actually, but I think it's something to do with the space/time continuum.
Monday, June 23, 2003
Friday, June 20, 2003
Dry Humping on the Bandwagon
"One of those jokes that only you and me and Williamsburg hipsters who wear ironic trucker-style baseball hats would get, but so, so true."
- Tricia Romano, The Village Voice, 4/7/2003
Dear New York City Writing Community,
As I'm sure you're aware, dissing "Trucker Hats" and "Williamsburg Hipsters" does not automatically make you cool. Though most people who do write something snarky along those lines do report a nanosecond of feeling "above it" and a fleeting sensation of being "in the know."
However, making fun of this sort of microtrend really just points up the fact that you yourself were probably made fun of as a teenager and have since been desperately scrambling for a semblance of cool your entire adult life, even though your flavor of cool is by necessity a rabid "anti-cool" stance.
So read on because we probably have a lot in common!
That being said, while I have never partaken in wearing a trucker hat or being a Williamsburg hipster, I say you should leave them well enough alone.
I am now painfully aware that my loathing for these things stems from the fact that I am insanely jealous of their youthful joie de vivre and their heaping side order of cluelessness. For it is these very aforementioned traits that not only permit but actually aid their teeming, frothy, almost unchecked sex appeal.
It may suck, but you just gotta deal.
Being a microtrend whiner is the new black. Since everyone is doing it, I am here to tell you being a microtrend whiner is no longer cool.
Thanks for your time and you may now go back to taking notes at Gawker
Smoochies,
Susie
PS I have decided to let you go on believing that all them ultra sexy white inhabitants of Williamsburg we all hate somehow all have trust funds. You're welcome!
"One of those jokes that only you and me and Williamsburg hipsters who wear ironic trucker-style baseball hats would get, but so, so true."
- Tricia Romano, The Village Voice, 4/7/2003
Dear New York City Writing Community,
As I'm sure you're aware, dissing "Trucker Hats" and "Williamsburg Hipsters" does not automatically make you cool. Though most people who do write something snarky along those lines do report a nanosecond of feeling "above it" and a fleeting sensation of being "in the know."
However, making fun of this sort of microtrend really just points up the fact that you yourself were probably made fun of as a teenager and have since been desperately scrambling for a semblance of cool your entire adult life, even though your flavor of cool is by necessity a rabid "anti-cool" stance.
So read on because we probably have a lot in common!
That being said, while I have never partaken in wearing a trucker hat or being a Williamsburg hipster, I say you should leave them well enough alone.
I am now painfully aware that my loathing for these things stems from the fact that I am insanely jealous of their youthful joie de vivre and their heaping side order of cluelessness. For it is these very aforementioned traits that not only permit but actually aid their teeming, frothy, almost unchecked sex appeal.
It may suck, but you just gotta deal.
Being a microtrend whiner is the new black. Since everyone is doing it, I am here to tell you being a microtrend whiner is no longer cool.
Thanks for your time and you may now go back to taking notes at Gawker
Smoochies,
Susie
PS I have decided to let you go on believing that all them ultra sexy white inhabitants of Williamsburg we all hate somehow all have trust funds. You're welcome!
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
I Spy Philip Seymour Hoffman
I see as of last night, lots of people are coming here to learn about some of my pals via "Last Comic Standing" searches. Although they as of yet haven't put anyone on their official site and I know a bit about what's to come, I was surprised to find I immediately felt an allegiance to NBC to not reveal their hand. So I won't. Plus, come to think of it, NBC has given me some nice little work and they pay gawd damn residuals.
Do reality shows pay residuals? Like they don't even pay, do they? Probably not on both counts and who the screw replays a reality show? Once you know the outcome it's much less interesting, right? So there's the best reason to leave you people guessing. If you want to know what happens, wait it out and eventually there's bound to be a cable network that only shows reality show re-runs. For now feel the dramatic arc, don't forget to breathe.
I liked what I saw. Still "The Search for the Funniest Person in America" is a truckload of oversell. How about the -- hello! -- esteemed judges? Like even a Quinn set at the Cellar where he's working out new stuff by reading off a sheet of paper, is awesome. Then I've seen him less than a week later, doing the same stuff sans paper polished to a high shine. It's amazing. Anyway, I digress no more...
If you missed last night's 2 hour premiere of Last Comic Standing on NBC, complete with the wonderful Baldo, Pepitone, Kerwin, Vos, and Kahaney and their NY antics it will be replayed Saturday at 8PM E/P on Comedy Central.
Um, cut the promo, what's with Philip Seymour Hoffman?
Oh yeah. Since I leave you in the dark about LCS, I can provide steamy PSH dish -- a SPD exclusive!
Last night I spied Philip Seymour Hoffman. When it comes to picking out celebrities I'm usually as clueless as Mr. Magoo at an orgy, but I recognized him sitting with two friends on the verdant Astroturf at the stunning new bit of Hudson River Park.
I actually never would have noticed him if he hadn't been wearing his LA style, "I'm a celebrity please don't recognize me" cap, that makes celebrities so much more conspicuous. Call it, "Madonna's Toupee"? No, that just sucks. There should be a Sniglet for these caps. Where's Rich Hall when we need him? Oh yeah, he's mainly in England successfully working a whole new exciting comedic persona.
Anywho, as I was just cooing o'er the new plantings and handicapped accessible picnic tables; I spotted PSH when he further pulled down his no-clever-name-as-of-yet cap. He pulled the cap down more when my sweaty ass* got within 20 feet. If you pull the pulling the cap down further trick, and you haven't slept with the person who is approaching, you are either:
1. A surly teenage girl in high-priced workout wear.
2. Someone in a discount FBI witness protection program.
3. A celebrity.
So here's to Philip Seymour Hoffman. The sighting would've been worth more if I hadn't spotted him en cap a few years ago at a goodly local hang.
In other celebrity news, the other night as we ate meat salads, my man spotted Julia Louis-Dreyfus walking down 7th avenue. I didn't recognize her because she wasn't wearing a "don't notice me" cap. If it was her she's mega short, with quite healthy looking hair.
Though normally my burning question would be how she avoided frizz, I was dying to ask JLD what's on the mind of every comedian: Why on earth is your former show mate hawking KFC?
But even if she had been at the next table also downing a meat salad, I never would've bothered her. If I don't respect a celebrity, I leave them alone. And if I do respect a celebrity, I run away twice as fast.****
* My ass is not usually sweaty, but I had actually been jogging. My ass at rest can be merely moist, but usually only on a humid day.**
** Perhaps the whole reason for this entry is to let the world know I have recently partaken in a massive bout of aerobic activity.***
***In the previous sentence, massive = "Hey, I wore my jog bra and bopped down to the educational stack of oyster shells and again hefted myself in a jogging type movement all the way back."
****Here I convenienty forget the time I introduced myself to Mel Brooks when we were both waiting outside of Joe Allen's or actually asked Milton Berle to autograph his 1974 Haskell Frankel book backstage after his set on Comic Relief. I was shaking both times, knew how utterly lame it was to be annoying them, but couldn't help myself. It's bizarre even for me to put them together, but it should be said they were both amazingly kind to this shaking four bit comedian nerd. And if you've read this far, my guess is that you are a SFBCN too. Welcome.
I see as of last night, lots of people are coming here to learn about some of my pals via "Last Comic Standing" searches. Although they as of yet haven't put anyone on their official site and I know a bit about what's to come, I was surprised to find I immediately felt an allegiance to NBC to not reveal their hand. So I won't. Plus, come to think of it, NBC has given me some nice little work and they pay gawd damn residuals.
Do reality shows pay residuals? Like they don't even pay, do they? Probably not on both counts and who the screw replays a reality show? Once you know the outcome it's much less interesting, right? So there's the best reason to leave you people guessing. If you want to know what happens, wait it out and eventually there's bound to be a cable network that only shows reality show re-runs. For now feel the dramatic arc, don't forget to breathe.
I liked what I saw. Still "The Search for the Funniest Person in America" is a truckload of oversell. How about the -- hello! -- esteemed judges? Like even a Quinn set at the Cellar where he's working out new stuff by reading off a sheet of paper, is awesome. Then I've seen him less than a week later, doing the same stuff sans paper polished to a high shine. It's amazing. Anyway, I digress no more...
If you missed last night's 2 hour premiere of Last Comic Standing on NBC, complete with the wonderful Baldo, Pepitone, Kerwin, Vos, and Kahaney and their NY antics it will be replayed Saturday at 8PM E/P on Comedy Central.
Um, cut the promo, what's with Philip Seymour Hoffman?
Oh yeah. Since I leave you in the dark about LCS, I can provide steamy PSH dish -- a SPD exclusive!
Last night I spied Philip Seymour Hoffman. When it comes to picking out celebrities I'm usually as clueless as Mr. Magoo at an orgy, but I recognized him sitting with two friends on the verdant Astroturf at the stunning new bit of Hudson River Park.
I actually never would have noticed him if he hadn't been wearing his LA style, "I'm a celebrity please don't recognize me" cap, that makes celebrities so much more conspicuous. Call it, "Madonna's Toupee"? No, that just sucks. There should be a Sniglet for these caps. Where's Rich Hall when we need him? Oh yeah, he's mainly in England successfully working a whole new exciting comedic persona.
Anywho, as I was just cooing o'er the new plantings and handicapped accessible picnic tables; I spotted PSH when he further pulled down his no-clever-name-as-of-yet cap. He pulled the cap down more when my sweaty ass* got within 20 feet. If you pull the pulling the cap down further trick, and you haven't slept with the person who is approaching, you are either:
1. A surly teenage girl in high-priced workout wear.
2. Someone in a discount FBI witness protection program.
3. A celebrity.
So here's to Philip Seymour Hoffman. The sighting would've been worth more if I hadn't spotted him en cap a few years ago at a goodly local hang.
In other celebrity news, the other night as we ate meat salads, my man spotted Julia Louis-Dreyfus walking down 7th avenue. I didn't recognize her because she wasn't wearing a "don't notice me" cap. If it was her she's mega short, with quite healthy looking hair.
Though normally my burning question would be how she avoided frizz, I was dying to ask JLD what's on the mind of every comedian: Why on earth is your former show mate hawking KFC?
But even if she had been at the next table also downing a meat salad, I never would've bothered her. If I don't respect a celebrity, I leave them alone. And if I do respect a celebrity, I run away twice as fast.****
* My ass is not usually sweaty, but I had actually been jogging. My ass at rest can be merely moist, but usually only on a humid day.**
** Perhaps the whole reason for this entry is to let the world know I have recently partaken in a massive bout of aerobic activity.***
***In the previous sentence, massive = "Hey, I wore my jog bra and bopped down to the educational stack of oyster shells and again hefted myself in a jogging type movement all the way back."
****Here I convenienty forget the time I introduced myself to Mel Brooks when we were both waiting outside of Joe Allen's or actually asked Milton Berle to autograph his 1974 Haskell Frankel book backstage after his set on Comic Relief. I was shaking both times, knew how utterly lame it was to be annoying them, but couldn't help myself. It's bizarre even for me to put them together, but it should be said they were both amazingly kind to this shaking four bit comedian nerd. And if you've read this far, my guess is that you are a SFBCN too. Welcome.
Thursday, June 05, 2003
Thursday, May 22, 2003
They Like Me? They Really Might Possibly Sort of Kind of Like Me?
Just learned I was nominated for an award!*
Up for best host of a comedy or variety thingy!
An award I didn't know existed!
The Emerging Comics of New York Awards
And people are voting for me (maybe)!
And people aren't voting for me (certainly)!
All of my loyal readers can vote for me now!
Yeah, all four of you!
*I found out about this gala through comedian pals who were also nominated but didn't know about it. Still I am truly honored, especially since my over 6 year run ended in March. Also happy as someone who knows me well obviously didn't nominate me as they got the name of my show wrong. But since I'm not looking nor expecting to win, I'm not sending an e-mail about this to anyone... other than my mom. Honest.
Just learned I was nominated for an award!*
Up for best host of a comedy or variety thingy!
An award I didn't know existed!
The Emerging Comics of New York Awards
And people are voting for me (maybe)!
And people aren't voting for me (certainly)!
All of my loyal readers can vote for me now!
Yeah, all four of you!
*I found out about this gala through comedian pals who were also nominated but didn't know about it. Still I am truly honored, especially since my over 6 year run ended in March. Also happy as someone who knows me well obviously didn't nominate me as they got the name of my show wrong. But since I'm not looking nor expecting to win, I'm not sending an e-mail about this to anyone... other than my mom. Honest.
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