Friday, June 20, 2003

Dry Humping on the Bandwagon

"One of those jokes that only you and me and Williamsburg hipsters who wear ironic trucker-style baseball hats would get, but so, so true."

- Tricia Romano, The Village Voice, 4/7/2003



Dear New York City Writing Community,

As I'm sure you're aware, dissing "Trucker Hats" and "Williamsburg Hipsters" does not automatically make you cool. Though most people who do write something snarky along those lines do report a nanosecond of feeling "above it" and a fleeting sensation of being "in the know."

However, making fun of this sort of microtrend really just points up the fact that you yourself were probably made fun of as a teenager and have since been desperately scrambling for a semblance of cool your entire adult life, even though your flavor of cool is by necessity a rabid "anti-cool" stance.

So read on because we probably have a lot in common!

That being said, while I have never partaken in wearing a trucker hat or being a Williamsburg hipster, I say you should leave them well enough alone.

I am now painfully aware that my loathing for these things stems from the fact that I am insanely jealous of their youthful joie de vivre and their heaping side order of cluelessness. For it is these very aforementioned traits that not only permit but actually aid their teeming, frothy, almost unchecked sex appeal.

It may suck, but you just gotta deal.

Being a microtrend whiner is the new black. Since everyone is doing it, I am here to tell you being a microtrend whiner is no longer cool.

Thanks for your time and you may now go back to taking notes at Gawker

Smoochies,

Susie

PS I have decided to let you go on believing that all them ultra sexy white inhabitants of Williamsburg we all hate somehow all have trust funds. You're welcome!