Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Blogging into the Sunset

Will all of us be blogging 10, 20 years from now? How about 50 years from now? I traveled far into the future just to find out. Here's a piece from a random blog I found. It's not that popular from what I can tell, but it seems fairly representative of the blogs from the mid 21st century. It was titled, "It All Depends." Note: If some of the text seems to have funky characters, it's because it's very hard to cut and paste from future blogs to our modern day ones...


Sorry I haven't posted in sooooo long. I took my comments system down because I was tired of all the trash talk from the anti-human peeps.

My kid called today. She says, "Hey mom! How's it going?" I'm like, HELLO, I'm in a goddamn nursing home, how do you think I am? I'm served my choice of tuna or egg salad every freakin' day (note: the tuna rocks, actually) and my roommate screams through the night and barks during the day. My daughter's husband is still an asshole (surprise!). He's got eyes that are indistinguishable from the common weasel. Just do an image search on Google for Dave Sheaderbaum and you'll see what I mean. I'm soooooo glad none of the grandkids got his rat-like features. I'd post a photo of him but Brittney down the hall in 3D broke my scanner trying to update her Korn nostalgia site. That woman was born senile. I had something else I wanted to write but I can't remember it...and they've come to change my Depend so sayonara for now!


Not much today, but check out this link that was sent to me. Looks like Gawker has the dirt on the aliens that took over Earth last week. IMHO the Kzrandish are much better looking and they don't wear those annoying hats. I would love to know how they get their tentacles so shiny! I say if we're going to be ruled by aliens, you just gotta deal, but I've got a terrible feeling that these guys are going to be even more annoying than our Sendok rulers were.

Oh damn. Brittney says she needs the computer and they haven't come to change my personal undergarment. This blows worse than the egg salad. I'm still bummed that everyone 30 years younger than me is immortal thanks to that new fangled alien technology. Not fair! Wahhhh! Ah well, what are you going to do?


Oh. Mi. Gawd.

Was checking my site meter today. I expect to get hits looking for naked pictures of the Kzrandish leader, but what I didn't expect was someone searching for my asshole son-in-law. So I checked the IP and it's him. He was searching for his own name! I guess he's got nothing better to do since the aliens enslaved him and made him temp on the Mothership. As he's the one who made me go into the nursing home rather than live with him on his huge (but oh-so tacky) digs on Mars all I can say is BURN! The upside is they've probably anally probed him good. Then again, I wouldn't mind being anally probed by a whole Kzrandish platoon, but that's another story! Ah, a gal can dream... Oh! I think I've wet myself. Ciao for now!


Ha! Check this out. Gawker overheard a Zrreftian at a downtown tourist trap drunkenly boasting that the aliens made the under 65 set immortal just so they can work for them forever. I could just die of happiness! Dave -- jealous much? Hahahahaha!

Rats. Even typing that laughter made me leak pee. Whateve dudes, I recently found I can get my stash way cheaper online.


It's now the law that the word "snarky" must be printed in every article, everyday. They say it's the aliens way of breaking down our will. I'm sad to say, it's working. Boo aliens. These alien oppressors really are oppressive. I have half a mind to send my used diapers to the Mothership. Naw, I'm too much of a pussy and besides I'm not ready to be vaporized yet! Later. It's MC Tuna time.