Tuesday, May 29, 2007

WARNING: Rare baby-related post to follow. Those who are not interested in babies, come back tomorrow.

During a recent gmail chat, my old friend Sara told me what I've already heard many times. That my spawn "could be a baby model."

Strike a pose

Honestly, I'm as shocked as anyone. I didn't expect him to be so good-looking. I sort of figured he'd be like mom... ya know, have to work for it.

It seems to me that the writing's on the wall.

If his looks keep pace, there's a chance my boy won't be alone enough to develop an unhealthy interest in dragons, or he won't need to forge an iron-clad sense of humor as a defense or that maybe he'll be one of the popular kids. Yes, scary prospects indeed!

Collar Popper
Future head of a frat? Shiver!

Also he's so darn happy and good-natured. I was sure I'd be sharing black nail polish with my son, but sadly, perhaps it is not to be.

My husband swears this happy thing was pulled out of me and that they didn't do a switcheroo behind the sheet.

Anywho, as he's 100% perfect and the world is clamoring for him to be a baby model, I figured I should make it easy and tell all potential future advertisers the things he is prepared to endorse, and what, on principle, he would shun.

Great outdoors


1. Puppies

2. Sunsets

3. Bananas

4. The QM2 (contingent upon he and his two adult handlers trying it out on an all-expense paid voyage)

5. Toys

6. A viable Democratic candidate for President (good luck, right?)

7. Luxury cars, luxury couture and luxury sockmonkeys

8. Big pharma (such as Peek-a-boo enhancing drugs and Klonopin)

9. Books (especially ones that are good to eat)

10. Technology & fine wines (send all merchandise to Hugo HQ for testing)


1. Hitler

2. Toxic waste

3. Cats that look like Hitler

If you represent any products from the "approved" list, have your people call my baby.