Thursday, September 11, 2003

Listen Cats, Dogs Should be Allowed at Former Woodstock Site
by Susie

An open letter to the people who now run the Woodstock music festival site which is now known as Bethel Woods:

It was a total bummer man, to go all the way to your beautiful fall harvest festival in the middle of a field only to discover no dogs were allowed. I know the original Woodstock founders have nothing to do with the new owners but I implore y'all to reconsider this totally uncool to canines policy. At the original Woodstock there were lots of dogs and no one got bitten as far as I know. If you are really nervous about liability, maybe you should put up a sign that says, "No Uncool Biting Dogs Allowed."

I also noticed there is now a distinct lack of young nubile naked people and I think you should reconsider that as well. In my experience people like to see young nubile naked people. Just saying.

Thanks in advance for immediately revising your lame no pooch policy because of this letter.

Susie and her dog Stan

For those of you that subscribe, yes, I wrote almost this very thing for the Spotlight newsletter this week.