Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Introducing... Me & My Spawn

Babble is the world's coolest parenting magazine ever. It just happens to be online. So much the better. Print magazines? Not so good with the moving pictures and new content daily, people.

My baby and I will have itty bitty videos up M-F on Babble.com's newly-hatched vlog blog Toddler Tube.

Why should you visit Toddler Tube now and everyday 1000X/day? Here, let me answer some of your imaginary questions:

Q: I have a baby and I think my baby is cuter than your baby, so why should I watch your baby?

A: Well, I know the hormones are powerful, but I'm sorry to say you are incorrect. My baby is cuter than your baby. Really. It's been proven in a lab. You can't argue with science.

Q: I don't have a baby and I don't like babies and I've no interest in babies and my eyes glaze over when I hear about babies.

A: Well, my videos and commentary will not be dull nor will they be serious. They will be mercifully short and quite entertaining. Also, I was once you, so although I'm now babycrazy, I feel you, people who are not crazy about babies. If you find you are still not entertained, return the unused portion for a full refund.

Q: Refund??? I have to pay to view this?

A: Of course not. That was a joke. The site is 100% free.

Q: OK, so I just viewed Toddler Tube and it's so amazing I want to pay you lots and lots of money. Maybe I should take out a second mortgage on my home to do so?

A: Actually, if you are a private citizen, please refrain from sending us all your money. I have a great job writing and stuff for truTV.com, which features totally insane real-life videos that are so far from babydom you'll get whiplash. Anywho, if you are a huge corporation who would like to pay us a truckload of money to endorse something, have your people call my baby -- here's a blog post that contains a handy list of things Hugo baby will and will not endorse.

Q: Your profile pic on Babble is so cool. Who took it?

A: Actually, I took it, via the bathroom mirror last year when Hugo was infantastic. Life was really hard back then. But this picture might fool you into thinking I was and am ultra cool.

Q: Wow, you're just so amazing. Everything you do is awesome. Can I lick you?

A: Thank you imaginary questioner, you're OK in my book. Wait, lick me? What the--

Q: Nothing.

In conclusion, bite-sized baby video and joy awaits you on Toddler Tube!