Thursday, June 01, 2006

Golden Girl

I'm going to the 7th Annual Golden Trailer Awards tonight. Jim Gaffigan is hosting. Actually I'm covering the Golden Trailer Awards tonight. What's the difference between going and covering?

If I was merely going to the awards:

* I'd feel guilty about my man having to walk wonderpooch after work when that's normally my shift.

Exhibit wonderpooch, wonderman

* I'd worry my pretty dress wasn't pretty enough, especially since as of this afternoon there's not one, but two salad dressing stains on it in the boobal area.

* I wouldn't be schlepping a camera, a steno pad and a tape recorder.

* I might feel silly about being on the wagon and not sucking down free drinks at the pre-party, show and post party, but as I am covering the awards I can pretend it's me being a professional. (Forget that fact that once I was so in the bag while hosting backstage video for Comedy Central that by the end of the night my celebrity interviews were one sweaty slur. Someday if I'm bored and brave I'll digitize the clip of me interviewing Vincent Pastore. "Interviewing" is a perhaps not the right term for trying not to pass out on him at 4AM while holding a microphone.)

* And finally, if I was merely going to the awards, the probing questions I always like to ask people might make me seem annoying or crazy or hot to trot. Instead, as I am covering the awards my kooky questions will be flattering, heady as champagne bubbles and will seem to float in the air with an ineffable insouciance.

At least, that's what I'm hoping.