Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Things that are sexy

1. I'm going to be featured in an upcoming issue of Penthouse*

2. Co-producing a hot show with Lianne that features pro comics who work in or have worked in advertising.

3. The show I just mentioned, and another one that I did a photo shoot for last night, will be part of the NYC Underground Comedy Festival.

4. Last night, having my makeup done expertly by a beautiful burlesque performer: Darlinda, Just Darlinda.

This is Darlinda, Just Darlinda

5. Gérard Depardieu

Ever since the gamma ray accident, this what Raphe Fiennes looks like when he gets angry

6. Being linked to, out of the blue, by the immensely talented Hugh. Beekeeping? Insightful commentary? Great Artoons? Check!

*No pictures. And not even with a real name. And nothing shocking, really, just chick talk for Rachel's column.
Mom, you can breathe now...**

**Actually, if my mom read this, she'd be more shocked by my Gérard-is-hot bombshell than the Penthouse comment.

Monday, August 29, 2005

My New RSS Calendar

It's so very exciting.


It's over there-ish --->


Dead guy says...

"Being dead is hard enough. But knowing that I lived my life without an RSS calendar is almost too much to bear." -- Dead guy

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Untitled #47

evilandophirajpg
Me, reacting to the lengths to which the paparazzi will go to get a picture of NY's finest downtown comedians

Ophira is excellent. I think we were war buddies in a previous life. She's an excellent comic. Excellent friend. Excellent gunner capable of doing serious damage to the rudder of a large Nazi war ship.*

Thanks to Nichelle for the photo and the star-packed chickstravaganza!

*I might be a tad influenced by the fact that I just finished watching Sink the Bismark tonight on DVD. It was engrossing. One Nazi, the nice one, looked exactly like Charlie Sheen. Honest. It was a little distracting.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

The World of Illusion...

felbsin
Finally, I am truly scintillating.

How to stop your eyes from burning:

1. Hold your head at a 45 degree angle, this seems to slow the dots a bit.
2. Get really close or really far away and the dots stop appearing.
3. Go visit another site, pronto.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Tonight: Hot LIVE Felber Action


I'm performing in this fabulous little show tonight. It's free. It's got a great lineup of professional chick comedians -- check out their sites below, added just for you, just now. And did I mention it was free? Why on earth wouldn't you go?

CHICKS AND GIGGLES
TONIGHT
Tuesday, August 23rd at 8:30 pm
Raga
433 E 6th St. (between 1st & A)
FREE!


Performing:

Susie Felber <--c'est moi
Erin Foley
Karith Foster
Catie Lazarus
Leighann Lord
Susannah "Goddess" Perlman

Hosted by Ophira Eisenberg

Check out: http://chicksandgiggles.blogspot.com

Monday, August 22, 2005

POOFY est ICI!


Super floofy poofy with creator Robyn Lee

Thanks to the mailman and the genius of young Robyn, I am now the proud owner of this limited edition super floofy poofy, a poofy "more pancakes" button and a signed the Adventures in Poofyville book. Wow!

Poofy was softer and more beautiful than I had imagined. As the comic book progresses, Poofy really reminds me of a modern Opus/Bloom County thing in the best way.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out:

http://poofy.net

And all will be made clear.

You should get a poofy. Everyone should have a poofy. But you can not have mine.

We've bonded.
Tomorrow night LIVE


I'm performing in this stellar little show tomorrow. It's free. It's got a great lineup of professional comedians. And did I mention it was free? Why on earth wouldn't you go?

CHICKS AND GIGGLES
Tuesday, August 23rd at 8:30 pm
Raga
433 E 6th St. (between 1st & A)
FREE!


Performing:

Susie Felber
Erin Foley
Karith Foster
Catie Lazarus
Leighann Lord
Susannah "Goddess" Perlman

Hosted by Ophira Eisenberg

Check out: http://chicksandgiggles.blogspot.com

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Today

Was at the Bethel Fall Harvest Festival, and it aint even fall yet. Isn't that grand?

It's located on the site of the Woodstock festival.

I picked up cave-aged cheddar and Jean Louis* and

organic cranberry walnut crusty bread.

Granny Smith apples, eggplants, yukon gold potatoes,

These are my drugs of choice.

But I did pick up some herb there,

in the form of a jar of handmade garamasala,

from chutneyunlimited.com

My mom will be the guest author at the October 2nd harvest festival

for their "Sweet in the Catskills" event.

It should be crisp and sunny.

We'll be laughing and mainlining maple syrup.

You should come.

This post was brought to you by beautiful weather, the aforementioned cheese and a healthy glass of Austrailian white wine.

*Here, Jean Louis is a cheese, not a hot French guy and was made by these people.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Industry News



I work in cable TV and really like to stay plugged into the latest indie news. So you can see why this item from today's Cable Fax Daily really caught my eye...

In the States: Two Comcast customer service employees responsible for changing a Chicago-area customer’s name to “Bitch Dog” on her bill have been fired (Cfax, 08/18).

Googled and found the full story here.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

BOR-ING

dog yawn
Yawn!

When your own dog is bored by your blog, you know things are bad.

Tune in tomorrow for my show updates and more scintillating posts.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Wednesday Night Live
I'm hosting an indie rock show tomorrow night. All 411 below. Come on down.

GirlsPoster
Once again I’m hosting this historic battle of the bands at Sin-e. I love doing it because I get to hear me some music. Also the bartender at Sin-e is a doll. Come on down and join me. I’ll have lots of time in-between bands to just drink, sway and mosh with you.

Girls vs. Boys: Battle of the Indie Rock Bands -- The Re-Match!
Wednesday, August 17th
8:00pm to midnight @ Sin-e
150 Attorney St.
b/w Houston & Stanton
F to Second Ave. or Delancey St. or J/M/Z to Essex St.
$8 cover (includes Girls vs. Boys sampler CD!)

Girls vs. Boys is a battle of the sexes via indie punk-pop-rock music...two female-fronted bands vs. two male-fronted bands. The battle isjudged American Idol-style by local celebrity judges. On August 17th, it's a Girls vs. Boys re-match! The Defending Champion Girls Team returns to take on two new "boy bands".

OUR VIP JUDGES:

Indie promoter KERRI BLACK
KEITH D'ARCY -- V.P. of Music Licensing for Sony/BMG
Entertainment lawyer MONIKA TASHMAN
TAYLOR DAVIS of Headset Productions & Pump Audio

BOYS TEAM:

THE OGGS
In between solving their Rubik's cube and messing around on MySpace,The Oggs found the time to produce "radiotherapy." - an intense andhonest 11 song diary of rock 'n roll whimsy.

THE DOPES
The Dopes serve up a rawly entertaining slab of energetic New York brat-rock that has its sonic roots in the raucous glory days of the Dead Boys, Pistols, Heartbreakers, and New York Dolls.

GIRLS TEAM:

THE DOMESTICS
If Debbie Harry shoved her way onstage during a Green Day show, the sound would closely resemble The Domestics. Retaining their punk edge, this female-fronted four-piece from Brooklyn churns out carefully crafted power pop songs.

THE MARIANNE PILLSBURYS
The Marianne Pillsburys play punky pop-rock with cleverly-crafted, hook-laden melodies and

OUR MC FOR THE EVENING:

SUSIE FELBER
Copy jockey for TV and contributor to US Weekly's Fashion Police, Susie has written for Comedy Central and appeared on Late Night with Conan O'Brien.

OUR ROCKIN' SPONSORS:
NEW YORK GUITAR & BASS BOUTIQUE -- 746 9th Ave. b/w 50th & 51st St. -- Guitar set-ups for the winning bands!

DRUMMER'S WORLD -- 151 West 46th St. #3 b/w 6th & 7th Aves. -- Gift certificates for the winning bands!

HURRY DATE -- Free passes to HurryDate parties for the Bands Most In Need of Dates. At a HurryDate party you'll go on oodles of real, live four-minute dates in one night.

K.E. HAAS SALON -- 40 Clinton St. NYC 212.228.2550G et a rock star haircut at the Lower East Side's hottest new salon!

RHEINGOLD BEER -- Mmmmm...beer specials.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

ME MUM'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG!

Or, actually, after eight years she's got a brand new website design. My mom is a historical romance author who is currently under contract for her first "real" historical.*

Visit my mom's site now!
http://www.edithlayton.com/

Here's my mom, reacting to something I said which was obviously hysterical...

Little known fact: the building you see behind mom, through the window, is Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe's building!**


My mom is hot sans surgery, make-up artist or anything other than her slightly pricey Estee Lauder cucumber-scented moisturizer with SPF 15.

Thanks to Lisa for the fab photos of mom, Bob for the stunning design and Kambri for mad web skillz. ***

PS I'm planning a book party for mom in October for the release of Gypsy Lover. She hasn't had a book party since her first novel was published in 1984, when she got published without an agent, and without any connections. Mom was plucked out of the slush pile by an assistant who is now a big time editor. This one and only book party was held in our suburban house on a verdent 1/4 acre on Long Island. My brother, my dad and I hung enormous homemade "GOTO 10"-type computer banners. Ya know, the kind with the little holes you had to rip off the side of the paper?

It's been more than 20 years. The lady deserves a party again, don't ya think?

I'm thinking wine, cheese and a fabulous venue to eat them in for friends, fans and family. (Enough wine to forget that pharma copywriters make a ton more money than prolific, award-winning authors.)

If you own or manage or know of a restaurant, gallery or something equally swish in Manhattan where we can throw my mom a killer book shindig, please contact me and let's talk. susie.felber{AT} gmail[dot]com

* "Real" historical basically means they amp up the history to 11 and slap a cover on it that won't scare away insecure men.

**All of the photos of mom you see here were taken in my one bedroom rental apartment in the West Village. Although it's called a one-bedroom, there is no door between the bedroom and the livingroom. Along with a working fireplace, my apartment features a semi-working stove from the 40's, peeling lead paint, and a ceiling that is falling down. Again. This article best explains why I have a two-time Oscar-winning nabe.

***Hire these people, they are awesome. Young, spunky, full of joie de vivre.
Full disclosure: they are also my friends. Bob and I met while working at Comedy Central when he was the senior designer in Off-Air Creative and I was the senior nobody in On-Air and Online. Lisa and I met through my pal Levin and Kambri and I met through Ye Old Tripple Inn and my friend Christian Finnegan.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Beleaf it or not...




Fall Fooleries

The above is a dance troupe run by Barbara Roan, based in Bennington, Vermont. As soon as I saw these guys in 1989, flying around a lawn while making bad leaf puns and being chased by a hot guy with a rake, I knew I wanted into the act.

The only problem: I was not a dancer and with only four costumes and roughly 5,000 modern dancers per square foot up in the wilds of Southern Vermont, it wasn't hard to fill their ranks.

But in 1991, fate intervened. One of the leaves fell. She had suffered an ankle injury just as the real leaves began to turn, which in Vermont takes place in about August. A bunch of gigs were coming up -- malls, a bunch of 200th Anniversary of Vermont Parades, and an international children's festival in Williamstown, MA. Someone in the troupe knew how much I lusted after leafdom and helped nudge me towards the dance professor. I was sure she'd say no. If I thought there was any chance she'd say yes, I would've pulled a Tonya Harding on one of the leaves back in '89. That's how badly I wanted it.

When I got up the guts to ask, I was surprised by how passionately I pitched myself. I really played up the fact that I'd studied ballet very seriously for a decade, which is true. But it was also true that after discovering more boys were to be found in band practice, finding serious ballet dancers didn't read books, and finding I'd grown inconveniently large boobs, I'd long since busted out of my tutu.

But I assured Barbara I wouldn't let her down. She looked at me and was moved by how badly I wanted to do it, even as she checked out my Lit/Drama-honed bod and visibly cringed inside.

This is how I came to be a part of the "Fall Fooleries" for one short season.

We went on the road. Sometimes we just ran around twirling and improvising to amuse each other while making bad puns. Sometimes we ran up to people and hugged them. Adults ate us up, but more often than not, when you came close to a kid to spread joy, smiling and waving your fronds -- they were scared shitless. To the kid I made cry in Brattleboro -- who probably has a blog where she's already shared this long-standing trauma -- my bad!

But although I loved the parades best, it wasn't all fun freeform antics. We also has a choreographed dance set to the Maple Leaf Rag. Miracle of miracles: I learned the dance and the fabulous foam outfits covered for a thousand sins my non-dancer legs were making -- or so I tell myself. The dance opened with the hot raker guy, raking some leaves on the stage. He gets tired of raking and falls asleep on his rake while standing. Then one of us hit play on the boom box, appeared and did our dream dance. I don't remember the exact moves other than the hazy memory that a grape vine and a kickline were involved.

We switched costumes for the heck of it and I ended up getting to wear every leaf but the Red Maple. The birch was a bitch because the enitre time you had to hold up a wooden pole to keep the top of the outfit from flopping over.




Birch; 2nd from left

Under the leaf we wore autumnal-colored shiny metallic unitards. No undies, because I soon learned that's how Bennington dancers roll, and I didn't want to be the one dork who had a unitard pantyline. Even still we were boiling hot, even on a crisp day. The costumes retained the sweet and sour sweat of every single leaf that had come before me.

It was, honestly, one of the best experiences of my life.

The other leaves in the troupe welcomed me with open branches and blew away the biases I had formed from my previous experiences with adolescent ballet dancers. These dancers were well-read, smart as whips and unlike me, they could dance their pants off.

Many thanks to the lovely Barbara Roan, for giving this leaf-groupie a shot.

Private to Barbara: if you're still doing the act, I currently have a job in television and a life in NY...
but I'd leaf it all in a heartbeat to do just one more stint in the unitard!

Further proof:

http://www.thisisvermont.com/artbarbindex.htm

Ian did double duty with the troupe as a hot raker and a leaf, depending.
http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=169750

Friday, August 12, 2005

Something happening here...what it is aint exactly clear.

My blog is suddenly and completely F'd up. It stopped archiving in May, the content (when viewed on a PC) has slipped to the bottom, and I'd fix it but my current template disappeared, replaced with a fresh new one. So in short: I gotta move or fix this blog before posting more.
And...
I'm looking to hire a fabulous (and hopefully cheap) designer to launch me a new blog and website. If you are a web designer who has any time or interest, let me know. My super secret emial is: susie.felber[@] gmail {.} com
Thanks bunches,
Susie

UPDATE:

Holy smokes. I fixed my blog. The archive was lost, but now is found, and I was amazed to find I had saved my old template as a word document -- was I drunk when I did this? It seems way too smart and responsible for me to have done straight. I also messed with a little html, and got my links in tip top shape.

BUT I am still putting out feelers for a real live web designer. If you are that person, please contactez moi.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


Lisa Whiteman was buggin'

Go here to see where I stole this stunning insect collage from and read about it --
http://www.lisawhiteman.com/archives/001007.html

Lisa captures life a lesser artist would smother or she gives life to objects and moments that our untrained eyes slide over.

Later today I might post the link to more of her pictures of last weekend.

Might not.

Depends.

Ta!

Monday, August 08, 2005

Three Things



1. I don't like people with car bras.

My blood boiled today while waiting in an 190 degree garage mainly because I was delayed while the parking attendant guys peeled the bra off some dude's pristine SUV. Before you say, "Wait, aren't SUV's for rugged 4-wheeling mountain types?" Know this: he didn't even put the bra on or rip it off himself. Like all other car bra owners, he waited for the garage guys to do it for you -- the same guys you don't trust to not scratch your car? People who have car bras are bad in bed. I have no data to back this up, but I know it like I know my dog's name. Please, if you have ever hooked up with anyone who owns a car bra, write to me and let me know how bad it (most certainly) was.

2. Wall Street Journal is secretly hammering out some blogs.
Working titles: Wall Street Journal Insider, Fine Living, and some others about stocks and searches so boring I can not even type the names for fear I might pass into a coma. My title suggestion: Wall to Wall coverage. These blogs might be subscription (payola) only. No biggie. It's not like their readership will have to go without (a spare car bra or two) to afford it.


WSJ blogs. Selecting the news so you have more time to pick out leather bustiers for your vehicle..

3. An email from an author was forwarded to me --
The author is a friend of another author of a friend. You'll find it below. I wish this dude all the luck in the world. Honestly. Being an author is not easy and I happen to like the little I've seen of Found magazine. I am all for authors doing anything to get publicity. Pie eating contests for romance authors, Sci-fi authors streaking at football games, philosophers going on Robyn Byrd. Whatever it takes.

But man, does this email below prove authors need editors? Yes it does. That's why I'm posting it.

Though I'm calling him out for preemptive publishing desperation & excessive length, by pasting this, I'm actually spreading the word about his book, right? I'm spelling his name right. Why I'm a freelance marketing saint, I am.

I'll leave you with the author's email. Ta! Good luck! If I don't hear from y'all in a week, I'll figure you got lost and call the Coast Guard.

Bon fowarded email-reading voyage!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Davy Rothbart - FOUND Magazine
Date: Aug 6, 2005 4:18 PM
Subject: Please help me with the grassroots effort for The Lone Surfer!
To: [redacted]

Hi [Redacted]--

What's up? So, as you probably know, this week is a big week for me because
this week Simon & Schuster is putting out my book of short stories, "The Lone
Surfer of Montana, Kansas." I'm pretty excited -- it's always been my dream to
see my book on the shelf, so it's really cool to see that happen. But now I
want to ask you for your help getting people to read it!

I worked hard on these stories and I badly want to get them out into the world,
get them into people's hands. That's one reason I'm asking for your help -- I
want these stories to get read. Also, though, the success of this book will
hugely determine my chances of getting to publish any more books down the road.
It's weird, but the difference between selling 2,000 copies and 8,000 copies is
gigantic. If things go well, I'll have an opportunity to get more books on the
shelf. But if not many copies of this book sell, it's gonna be rough trying to
publish again. What's crazy is that success and failure is measured (for the
publishers) by just a few thousand copies. This means that every little
grassroots thing you can do makes an enormous difference. Simply by spreading
word about the book, you're giving me a huge boost and helping me to follow my
dreams!

I'm gonna give a few suggestions for specific ways you can help, but before I
do, let me first off just thank you so much for reading this whole little
manifesto, and also let me say that I wouldn't be asking you to do this if I
didn't truly believe that the folks you know will like this book. I'm proud of
it, and I stand behind its quality. If I was selling garden tools or
encyclopedias, I wouldn't ask you to go to bat for me like this, but I'm asking
you to spread word about something that means a lot to me, and that I'm certain
people will enjoy and maybe even really love.

OK, I'll suggest 5 quick ways to help. 4 of them are free and require only a
bit of grassroots energy. I would be extremely grateful for you to follow
through on any one of these ideas, or any combination of 'em!


1) EMAIL EVERYONE YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BOOK. I really believe in the idea that
when someone hears about something from multiple sources, it moves them to
action. The Lone Surfer has already gotten some great press and reviews, and
more are coming, but I don't know that someone who reads about it in, say, the
L.A.Times or the Washington Post is gonna just run out and pick up a copy. But
if they also get an e-mail from you saying "hey everyone, my friend Davy has a
new book of stories out called The Lone Surfer of Montana, Kansas -- check it
out, it's awesome!" -- well, they might see what it's all about. So please
cast a wide net -- email everyone you know, or pick out specific folks who you
think might be the most into it. Simply emailing everyone you know, giving it
your own rousing endorsement, and urging folks to pick up the book is probably
the biggest (and easiest) way you can help. The book should be easily
available at every single bookstore in the U.S. and Canada, or at amazon.com.
Also, what I think of as perhaps its greatest assets (at least as far as
convincing people to check it out) -- it's cheap, it's a thin book (a quick
read), and it's a fun read. If you need more ammo for singing the book's
praises, I'm including some early press quotes at the end of this message, as
well as some nice things that Arthur Miller, Judy Blume, and Ira Glass said
about the book, and a quick description of the book.


2) BUY 3 COPIES OF THE BOOK. The book costs 12 bucks in a bookstore, about
$9.50 on amazon.com. For 30 bucks, you could buy 3 copies online. Keep one
and give a couple away as gifts! It makes for a pretty cheap gift that's still
kind of nice. If you're broke these days, no worries, skip this idea. But if
you're doing OK, please dig deep and buy 3 copies! Any bookstore should have
it, or click on this link and go right to The Lone Surfer page on amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?path=ASIN/0743263057&link_code=as2&amp;camp=1789&tag=foundmagazine-20&creative=9325


3) GIVE THE BOOK A POSITIVE REVIEW ON AMAZON.COM. You can go to that same page,
find where it says to 'Post A Review,' and in a couple minutes get your words up
for the world to see. It's strange how big a difference it makes, but other
random people who are considering buying the book will read what you write and
use that to make their decision. I think people trust the "man on the street"
more than anything. I guess I do, too. Anyway, please give the book a nice
review, I swear this really helps!


4) TALK THE BOOK UP TO PEOPLE. Friends, relatives, students, teachers,
bookstore employees, cute guys, cute girls, strangers on the bus. Nothing is
more powerful than word-of-mouth! And it's totally free, and you end up having
interesting, unexpected conversations with people you wouldn't otherwise.
Reading the book in public also helps! Or just carrying it with you with the
cover visible as you go through your day. I was gonna make this one a separate
idea, but I figured 5 was plenty. Anyway, yeah, just telling people about the
book and talking it up is huge. If you have a blog, or write a column for a
newspaper, or know someone who does, please, please mention the book. The more
word-of-mouth that gets pumping, the better!


5) ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO CHECK OUT OUR FOUND MAGAZINE/ LONE SURFER TOUR. From
September 19th to November 19th, me and my brother Peter are doing a 50-city
tour where we'll put on our rowdy reading/music show. I'll read Found notes
and a story from the Lone Surfer book and Peter will play songs based on Found
stuff. Folks seem to have a great time at these events, so if you can get your
friends to come check it out, they'll probably have a good time and thank you
for the heads-up, and they'll also likely be inspired to pick up The Lone
Surfer book at the show. Throughout the fall, I'll be emailing updates every
few weeks with the upcoming tour stops -- please look through the list of
cities and let your friends in those towns know that we're headed their way!
To see the entire 50-city tour schedule now, check out the Events page at
http://www.foundmagazine.com


OK, so there ya have it. If you've made it this far, you deserve a medal
already! So yeah, if you're willing to try any of these grassroots efforts,
I'd be absolutely thrilled, and deeply appreciative. I really can't thank you
enough for helping me out in this way.

Below, in case it helps, is a quick description of the Lone Surfer book and a
few nice words from some cool newspapers and some cool people.

Thanks again for any grassroots help you can give, and let me know if you have
any questions about any of it!

Peace out for now-- and hope to talk to ya soon

++Davy

In The Lone Surfer of Montana, Kansas, Davy Rothbart's stories grow out of road
trips and small towns and are populated by questionable heroes and gold-hearted
thugs. Full of loneliness and hope, heartbreak and humor, Rothbart's tales blaze
their way from midwestern farm fields to state prisons and border-town brothels.

Much like the lost, tossed, and forgotten items Rothbart collected in his
acclaimed book, FOUND, the stories in The Lone Surfer of Montana, Kansas
capture the oddity, poetry, and dignity of everyday life.


"Davy writes with his whole heart. These stories are crushing."
--Arthur Miller

"I believe in Davy. He's a force to be reckoned with."
--Ira Glass

"Funny, flashy... a great whirlwind..."
--The Los Angeles Times

"A storyteller mastering his craft. Rothbart writes with control, precision and
compassion." -- Kirkus Reviews

"It's always exciting to discover a talented new writer. Davy writes with such
energy, wit, and heart." --Judy Blume

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Davy Rothbart, FOUND Magzine
http://www.foundmagazine.com
http://www.21balloons.com
davyrothbart@foundmagazine.com
P.S. Page me later.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Maydins of America:
EXPOSED!

kilt1
The de'il inside, the de'il inside, every single one of us, the de'il inside

"A' he can do is but bark and yowff!"

kiltrape
Nain sall eschaip me!

I hope you've enjoyed scenes from The Tart and the Tartan,
not coming to a theater near you, ever.

I must not publish this tripe, must not hit publish, must not... feeling weak... must. hit.

PUBLISH!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS BLOG DRUNK

gardenstan
My dOg is sooooo cuTe, right?

TERRIBLE POSTS CAN HAPPEN WHEN SOMEONE IS IMPAIRED BY DRINK

hummer
I took THis hummingbird foto all by MysELf!

DRUNK BLOGGERS OFTEN DON'T REMEMBER THEIR POSTS IN THE MORNING

hummer
I took THis hummingbird foto all by MysELf!

...OR DON'T REMEMBER THEM 2 SECONDS LATER

hummer
I took THis hummingbird foto all by Myself THIS PAST SUNDAY!!!

THEY WILL POST ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE OF NO CONSEQUENCE

humdrinker
lookie, a hummingbird in flight THIS PAST SUNDAY!!!

...POSTING LATE AT NIGHT

humdrinker
I took THis hummingbird foto I did not steal it from flickr!!!

...AND THEY WILL GET SURLY IF YOU DON'T CARE....

humdrinker
I took THis hummingbird foto!!!

humdrinker
Like YOU ever tookn a hummingbird photo this good?

humdrinker
My spotty pink ass you ever took a hummer foto this good!!!

SO PLEASE,

amergoldfinches
Goldfinches!!!!

IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND WHO DRINKS AND BLOGS...

amergoldfinches
AMERICAN Goldfinches!!!!

TRY TO UNDERSTAND

amergoldfinches
AMERICAN Goldfinches are also called wild canaries by some !!!! WILD, right?!

THEY ARE NERDS.

amergoldfinches
AMERICAN Goldfinches are about to nest. Yes, nesting Much later than most birds by far!

...AND THERE IS NO CURE.

amergoldfinches
AMERICAN Goldfinches are grainarians - that means they eat mostly grains, except when they go on a bendder and have a BBQ insect sandwich or something

THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING.
ME, Tomorrow night

Wednesday, August 3rd
starlight_keith
Keith is your host, you shall not want

Starlight Revue
Starlight Bar and Lounge
167 Ave A (Btwn 10th and 11th Sts.)
@10:30 PM (seating at 10pm)
Free Cover/ 1 drink min


Keith Price hosts this well loved show in a swanky venue. I'm thrilled to be part of the fabulosity.

Tomorrow night's show is called "Hot Gays of Summer" so of course, my mom is coming to this one.

But I figure since my mom is a romance author, that's instant gay cred, right?


Seriously, my mom is one feather-trimmed mule away from being a royal in the kingdom of Faghagonia.

Here's a pic of my mom, being driven into the city to see me in the Starlight show...


Mom in her Autohomobile

Yeah, she had to set off for my show today, because her car hobbles along at two miles per hour.

But what the Stiletto lacks in speed, it makes up for in moxie!

Mmmmmmmmmoxie moxie moxie.

MOXIE!

I love me some of the word moxie.

10-4 good buddies. Over and out.