Thursday, December 01, 2005

Untitled #467

How To Kick People was a hot show last night, in both senses of the word.

Here was my intro for Bob.

"I am going to present two truths and one lie about Bob Powers. I not only know which statement is false, but I know the reason why..."

And here are the two truths and one lie Bob Powers sent us. I will read them so you can judge for yourself and then I'll give my expert lie-busting analysis.

1. Bob Powers played the male lead in his middle school's production
of the musical "Plain and Fancy."

2. When he was eight, Bob Powers sent Linville Orchards, a
Pennsylvania Pumpkin Patch, into a brief moment of "Lockdown" when it
was thought that he was missing. It took only a few panicked minutes
to discover that he was hiding in the hayloft.

3. Bob Powers broke his foot while skateboarding at age 23.

I’ll cut to the chase... the skateboard thing is true. Obviously. It makes him look cool. The orchard thing? Trickier. The rich detail makes it ripe to gain your vote for truth, yet as Bob fancies himself as something of a writer one can picture him stroking himself to climax as he concocted this elaborate bit of personal diamonique. So by the power of deduction vested in me, I say that Bob starring in Plain & Fancy is a lie. Also, I know that when Bob’s middle school was performing Plain and Fancy, Bob was in traveling around France, performing the cello opon a faux fur stage (how appropriate for that lying twat) as one-armed musical freak. I even have a picture...

Ye Olde Bob Powers

Note on above: Turned out the pumpkin story was Bob's true lie. Rats! I was so close!

Note to self: don't rush so much, don't bail on the new piece, especially when it's going decently.

PS Handy tip for people how have had a little too much pinot grigio after reading at a show on 15th street and don't want to wait for the bus. Steer clear of Apple Bank, they charge huge ATM fees. First time I've gone to a bank that charges more than my local bodega. $2.50!