Thursday, July 21, 2005

At WYSIWYG Camp, Everyone's a Winner
Cue self-indulgent, nauseatingly sincere blogger speech...

I feel compelled to write a WYSIWYG show recap, even though I never write show recaps. It's nothing personal. It's just that I rarely post anything personal on my blog. If you want to know about my mid-level day job in tee vee, my performing and my incredibly active and outrageously scandalous exploits with nude goldfinches -- I'm sorry.

The thing is I'm a very private person who will only reveal these most personal details the very first time you meet me. Even if you don't ask. Especially if I've had a glass of pinot. Red or white. Seriously, if I've had two drinks, you're hearing about me and Eddie Cantor doing blow off a snail's labia and huffing behind Soy Luck Club with NY1's Roger Clark. You know, typical Wednesday night stuff.

For those that do spill it online, I love you. I read you (pant, pant). Don't. Stop.

I was amazed how many recaps of the show went up, bim bam just like that. It was thrilling. For the full picture, posts about the show are best assembled here on the official WYSIWYG blog.

I guess it's true what my mamma always told me...

Sleep with a blogger show, wake up with blogs.

But here's a few thoughts about Tuesday's WYSIWYG show -- because I'm a team player!*

1. I wrote to Chris the day after and here's some of what I said. Basically the only thing I cut out was my fear that I have gone over the time limit. Oh, and I didn't hyperlink my email. That's just for y'all.

"I can't thank you enough for including me in your reindeer games last night. The show was very special to me -- and I don't mean special as in retarded...

The opportunity to do a show that is promoted wonderfully, booked expertly and planned with utmost care was a privilege. You people rock. The best and most unexpected part is that I learned exactly how I could cut and improve the story.

Could you please also pass on my sincerest thanks to Dan and Andy? You guys are the best -- and I love that you gave me a chance to read even though you didn't know me from a hole in the wall.


2. I've been performing for almost a decade. Lots of sketch, improv, stand-up and before that some seriousy stuff like Shakespeare, da Greeks and assorted pretentious stuff from Rat Hole Rep to Lincoln Center. I even worked with quite a few directors and actors whose names would impress your pants off. But since most of them were celebrated psychos, I do not name names and when I see them I cross to the other side of the street to avoid a conversation. Then again, if I wanted your pants off...

But I dig finding new communities of talented, dedicated people. I love opening the circle and the mingling of... holy crap I am descending into syrupy muck. THIS is probably the real reason why I don't post personal stuff. That and I know if not kvelling about the talents of others, I'd be ripping them a new one. And who wants a new one? Not me.

In any case, although I felt like the dorky new kid since I'm not a part of any blogger scene, "Hey guys! What bar are we going to? Guys? Guys where are you going? Guys wait up!" -- I loved it.

3. I really enjoyed the other blogger's camp stories. I laughed so hard I cried. I can't fake that stuff. Fun.

4. I think numbering these recollections is lame, but I can't stop.

5. Here's a tidbit that might get all your blogging panties moister than a clam's crotch:

My brother's agent showed up. Out of the blue. The agent who sold my brother's first novel to a big important publisher for a 2006 release.** I had always heard wonderful things about him from my bro, but never had met the dude, never had any contact with him. I didn't even have an email address with which to spam him, people! He was so dang nice. So non-agenty, no offense to my other agent friends. And I know from his own lips that had it not been so hot he might've gone with his stylish, willowy woman*** to see Elvis Costello instead of me... but the fact that he came across my post about the show and was curious enough to come was very cool. I heard through the grapevine (my brother) that he truly enjoyed it. Now all I got to do is write something worthy of publication. Give me a half century or two. I'll be right on it.

6. Rachel. Lovely Rachel and her fabufriends showed up, hung out and led me towards other exciting performing and writing opportunities. She also brought me a present for no reason other than she knew I'd like it.
For that did-I-blackout-and-hump-a-cake-last-night? feeling

Buttercream frosting lotion. It's amazing. I was rubbing it all over my arms and offering it to the other readers before the show. As attractive performers greased up, the audience wondered what kind of blogger burlesque they had gotten themselves into.

7. Murray!
Murray came to the show. My new friend who schlepped two beautiful used Cannondale bikes for me from the wilds of Pennsylvania. Murray is Vice Chairman of the Pike 2 Bike advisory committee, owns and runs Grouseland Tours, and has too many other talents to mention but I might post pics of his stained glass if he sends them. Also, I'm going to do Pike 2 Bike this year. Very excited.

8. And finally...

Thanks to all the nice audience members and the nice bloggers who said nice things about how absolutely stunningly jaw-droppingly talented I was... or you know, something to that effect. It was, without a doubt, really nice to hear. I'm rubber, you're glue. You know the rest. Or not. 10-4 good buddies.

*No, truth is I easily succumb to peer pressure and want everyone to like me.

**I have the right to brag about my brother until the cows come home and pack up and leave because I'm bragging too much. So stuff it! In a nice way... Here's a fabulous post my brother did recently describing the process of revising his novel for publication.

***If you think I'm kissing up by describing the agent's woman as stylish and willowy, you are so woefully wrong it's like eating bear bile for breakfast. See, the only thing I have to shop to this literary agent is my grocery list. But if you do see "Milk, Eggs, Bacon -- One woman's personal journey through Price Chopper by Susie Felber" hit the shelves, then by all means, you may go ahead and question my motives. As Elvis C. would say, "My aim is true."

PS I'm not going to post my story for the not getting personal on the blog reason, but mainly, because I like the "ya hadda be there" element of any live show. For those of you who made it out, this is your Woodstock. Go forth and tell your future grandkids about it. Yeah people who didn't make it, it was that good.