Monday, May 02, 2005

New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

I entered this two weeks running thanks to a heads up from a friend and fellow comedian.

This was the first week's cartoon.


I had two captions.

The one I sent in:

"I love science Jenkins, and love makes you do stupid, crazy things"

The one I almost sent in, but did not:

"I was tired of living a lie."

Today, they have the semi-finalists up from the first contest and you can vote for your favorite.

As you can see, I was not among the chosen people.

With all due respect, I think both of mine were 100% funnier.* Feel free to start a letter writing campaign on my behalf.

Or simply check back every week as this professional writer and comedian shares her losing entries with you. What better way is there to wile away the time than seeing her enormous ego being battered? I think the best part will be the progress of my downward spiral as I become disturbingly more bitter as a parade of lame captions are selected. Fun!

*To be honest, I think mine were funnier to infinity. And as we all know, there's nothing higher than infinity, not even infinity plus one.**

**I am aware that mathematicians might get all up in my jock about my take on this infinity business. Yet another reason I'm glad I don't have a comments section.***

***And anyway, I think marine biologists and physicists are way hotter than mathematicians. That's why you'll never see me getting all cocky about the burn point of whale blubber or waxing sarky about the whipping up of particles. Um... particle whipping. sexy.****

****To me, people, to me!*****

*****Drat it all! All the fantasizing in the world about hot physicists -- and I will need to fantasize because I could not find any pics of hot scientists -- will not dull the pain of losing the New Yorker caption contest. Oh the humanity!******

******Who's more bored with this post, you or me?*******

*******No idea. It's a lose/lose situation really.********

********I would buy an iPod today if iTunes had a recording of Irene Cara singing "Here's to the Losers" at The 58th Annual Academy Awards (1986). Just saying.