Monday, May 16, 2005

I hate begonias

There. I said it.

Walking today on 39th street I saw a patch of begonias and thought, "I hate begonias."

To find a picture of a begonia I found the American begonia Society. Let's take a look at the aims and purposes of the American Begonia Society:

Aims and Purposes

To stimulate and promote interest in begonias and other shade-loving plants.

No. But I'll admit you almost got me with the enticing "other shade-loving plants" jazz.

To encourage the introduction and development of new types of these plants.

No. Although I'll admit I'm often impressed with the ability of begonias to look like they're fake, yet dying. Waxy leaves, pitiful little blooms -- I say to hell with 'em!

To standardize the nomenclature of begonias.

Go crazy, but I'll not have any part of it.

To gather and publish information in regard to kinds, propagation, and culture of begonias and companion plants.

Oh I get it, the first one is free, right? Well luckily begonias are too hideous to hook even the most far gone plant addict.

To issue a bulletin that will be mailed to all members of the society.

Whoa whoa whoa! Are you aware that'll set you back nearly 80 cents?!

To bring into friendly contact all who love and grow begonias.

Bad idea, ABS. Studies have shown that if people have friendly contact with other humans, they cease to love and grow begonias.

So in conclusion, screw begonias.


What the? What the hell is that?

Find out tomorrow...

Is that Paris Hilton's ass?

Not telling.

It is, I think that's Paris Hilton's ass!

Oh come on, don't give it away.

OK. I won't give away that that is most certainly Paris Hilton and her ass in House of Wax.


No problem. Just explain this tomorrow, K?

No doubt my imaginary muchacho!

You have imaginary friends... are you sure you don't like begonias?

What are you implying???

I was just... nevermind.

I mean, it is nice that they grow in the shade and... oh no! Am I a closeted begonia lover?

What? Sorry, wasn't listening. I'm distracted by Paris Hilton's bum.

OK then, find out tomorrow... when Stray Pride will have less ABS, and more PHB!


Paris Hilton's Bum.

Oh, right. Fabu.