PRESENTING FELBER'S 1ST ANNUAL
Evite Can’t Attend/Can Brag Awards
When people respond to an Evite, if they can come or if they are a “maybe” they usually reply enthusiastically or rather plainly.
But I’ve noticed that often, when people can’t make it to a party or a show they are compelled to turn down the event while also giving people a taste of their jetsetting life in the process.
As in, “I’d love to come, but I’ll be having sex with Paris Hilton at that time!” Or, “Oh shoot! That night happens to be the date I’ll be shopping for a dress to collect my Nobel Prize in. But have fun!”
Below, are 100% real examples of Evite RSVP brags that I have collected for your reading pleasure.
NOMINEES FOR BEST USE OF BRAGS WHILE DECLINING AN EVITE
Rats! I'm going to be in the recording studio cutting tracks for the 2005 Cast of APATHY that night, but have a wonderful B-Day and I'll get you a coupla drinks some other time. Cheers! :)
I'll be in China at that time. Have a great time!
Sadly, I have another show opening that night, and will be attending post-show festivities with that cast. Happy Birthday!
Still in Europe rcovering from Cannes - will see you next time again...
Greg, I'm sorry I can not atttend. I'm in Bolgaria working on a film.
Arrgggh! I forgot that need to go watch my friend Lon strip down to a thong tonight at the duplex...rats! Have fun without me:O(
Thanks so much for the invite. I am in Poland this summer producing my thesis film. A documentary. Stay in touch.
sounds like fun but i've already committed to 2 other parties that night. happy b-day! cheers....
Hi, Greg! I'm here in LA, doing a kitchen remodel in our house, so I can't make it out to NYC. Have a GREAT time, though!
And the winner is:
Eurotrash Bragger!
Still in Europe rcovering from Cannes - will see you next time again...
This is a brilliant Evite brag. What an economy of words! He is “recovering” from Cannes. That alone says it all. It says, “I went somewhere swank and I partied harder than your little party could ever know with people who are much cooler than anyone who might be showing up to your little event.”
This Evite RSVP shows an uncanny ability to brag in brief, combined with awesome disregard for spelling and adorable euro grammar. Its brilliance can not be denied.
Runner up:
The Busy A-hole!
sounds like fun but i've already committed to 2 other parties that night. happy b-day! cheers....
Nice! With this response, the dude quickly reveals that the person's birthday party (it was a birthday party Evite) is but a speck of annoying lint on his whirlwind social calendar.
Congratulations to the winners!
Now scroll below to check out where I'll be performing...
