Felber B-Roll: Car Talk Jokes editionHere's the segment that aired on Car Talk today about King Tut's Chariot, which now on display in NYC's Times Square. You can see the gags that aired, and, even better, listen to Tom and Ray describe them here.
And below, here is the full plate of my brilliant hack writing about this 3,000 year-old mobility marvel. FYI I'm not the only funny person contributing jokes, two other LA-based comedy writers are also zapping it in to CT HQ. Anywho, what's below is mine and either didn't make it or was tweaked. Enjoy! Groan! Repeat!
Features of King Tut's Chariot -- revealed!
Cell Phoenicia charger
Rearview Mummies
24-hour Pharaoh-dside assistance
Polytheistic coating
Curseless entry
Satellite oracle
Deity-side airbags
RA-and-pinion steering
De-Isis-er
Of course, an earlier model was recalled "to work out the Sphinx."
Canoptic jar holders
Mini Frankincense tree to hang on horse's tail
Catalytic Cleopatras
Hieroglyphic Converters
Obelisk shift
Rosetta Stone rack
Hybrid horse/slave power
Linen floor mats
Under-chariot neon
Wipers and embalmer fluid
GPS: Global Papyrus System
5 years or 50,000 royal cubit warranty
Flaxseed oil inidicator light
In chariot symbols: Wavy-lines for air conditioning, pyramid for hazard light symbol and eye for back up cameras
"When the previous owner said parting with it was a sacrifice, he really meant it."
Or, re: Tut possibly dying in a accident in that chariot: "When Tut said parting with it was a sacrifice, he really meant it." (Ba dum bum!)
