Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Whoop! Whoop! Sound the alarm! 'Cause Felber knows what's going down.

What's the phase on everybody's lips?
"... a bit of a disconnect"

Oh yeah.

How is it used?
It can be used almost anywhere! Let's say you are in an office meeting and somebody presents an idea. You can respond, "I think that's a bit of a disconnect."

What does it mean?
Well, it can mean many things! In the example above it means "Your idea is crap. I mean, where do you get ideas like that?" But by saying "a bit of a disconnect" you make yourself sound smarter, the other person gets confused and it's more polite than saying "you're talking apples and oranges" or "wow, you are a moron." Plus, HR can't fire your ass for saying it.

Here, to help you are 100% real and really recent sentences I pulled off the web containing the trendy phrase "a bit of a disconnect." Read them, and then I will tell you what they mean.

"The initial lag time on the “live” search as you type creates a bit of a disconnect, as does having to wait to hit the enter key to preview the results. "

Translation: I am a nerd. A very smart nerd who will now bore you with the nerdy peeves I have.

"Secondly, and I think this presents a bigger issue, there's a bit of a disconnect between low low prices and the sorts of folks who will go to Wal-Mart for a commercial loan instead of a more established bank. "

Translation: People who go to Wal-Mart are asshats.

"I realize that, at least on the surface, there's a bit of a disconnect between why I blog and why I read blogs. "

Translation: I only "seem" crazy. Let me explain. Please?

"Recently I have been noticing a bit of a disconnect between agencies and interactive partners."

Translation: And now I'm going to show you how the people I don't like are asshats. Also, please hire me, I'm so tired of being unemployed.

"Unfortunately, there was a bit of a disconnect between the way the class was described in the course catalogue and the way it was described to me by the department chair."

Translation: My department chair is an asshat. Or the people who wrote the catalog are asshats. Man I'm so smart! PS I lost my favorite undies leaving the kegger last night, so if you see them on the shrubbery, call me!

"Just suffering a bit of a disconnect with everything going on in her family. Princess is progressing with the potty, 2 days in a row. Didn't make it today, but still a good thing overall."

Translation: God she's such a moron. Not like me and my brilliant spawn the potty savant.

"There are so many weight loss bloggers out there and I've always felt, despite us having the same end goal, being linked on each others blogroll and even frequently commenting, there's a bit of a disconnect."

Translation: Ugh! Why can't I be the only fatty fat blogger! Not FAIR! Also, I gained 5 pounds last night. Back to the drawing board.

"I guess there was a bit of a disconnect there, because Peter's most recent avatar of himself doesn't look much like him."

Translation: I finally saw this dude's picture and he is a beast. From now on I'm not falling for a guy based on his avatar!

"There's a bit of a disconnect between what you expect to read and what I want to post about."

Translation: I have feelings, damnit, and you, my loyal blog readers, are asshats! All five of you!

"i just feel a bit of a disconnect between the person i am in uniform and the person i am otherwise."

Translation: Corpses in my backyard? Check!

"It is also curious to note a bit of a disconnect in how the author of this poem mathematically defines women as purely time and money."

Translation: This author is a sexist asshat. So are all men.

"so then there's a bit of a disconnect - my professor tells me something in chinese, i understand in chinese, and then i have to write it down in english while she's still going on in chinese. "

Translation: I can totally relate to the dude whose department chair is an asshat. Also, I think I found his undies. They smell nice.


WOW! That was a long post! I'd recommend you take a break from the computer about now...
Behold, the danger of long posts!

Photo cred: Reuters/Luis Reyes -- story here.