I've Been Remiss

This is not about my lack of posting lately, toots.

I never promised you an update garden.

No, I've been remiss for not recommending to my loyal no readers, the site of a brilliant, nice, almost annoyingly well-rounded comedian.

Laurie Kilmartin shares her poolspertise, her historic headshots and her weekly trials and successes. And unlike you and me, pussy blog people, she's been doing it since most people thought broadband was an engagement ring for fat chicks.

Note to self: make appointment to get analogies brought in for servicing.

Laurie is a working comedian and has it together. Speaking of rare, she's currently writing for TV and how the screw rare is a woman comedy writer? Quite rare. Every comedy show I know of in NY has a none to one rule. OK, of course it's not a rule. There are lots of reasons for the lack of women. The reasons won't be gone into here and before you peg me as a bitter psycho feminist (I am only one or two of those things) the reasons don't necessarily reflect badly on the shows. It just is.

Back to Laurie.

She's done lots of TV, but she's not household-name famous. Still, more than most anyone, she's someone I look up to. She's got the talent, but she also consistently works dang hard. She gots the looks, but she also works out darn hard. I hope someday she sneezes on me so I can catch some more of that action.

Check her out.

The Fault, Dear Brutus, Is HERS

As you didn't know, I got another astrology gig. This one is for a fabulous glossy called Women Who Rock Magazine.

My first column is coming to a newsstand near you, March 11th.

They asked for "edgy", they got "edgy."

But here's the cool part... when they got it, they didn't puss out and ask me to tone it down.

Score!

Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble, Borders, Tower, Target, Virgin, WalMart, etc.. Etc. includes where I found it, at that coffee chicken wrap dessert place with the amorous foreign cashier on 8th ave. between 57th and 58th.

You'll find the magazine has quality content, you'll support the Felber, and most importantly you'll find out if Saturn's orbit has totally screwed you.

I Da Jury

I knew it. As of tomorrow I'm on the jury. Oi squared, baby.

No! I can not talk about the case (I think?)! Don't push me to! It would be wrong! So no, I can't reveal the nitty gritty detai...

Huh? What? You don't care? But you know nothing about it! Sure this case is not likely to make the papers. Well by "not likely", I mean it won't but it's an interesting civil case at least from the point of view of...

Huh? Where ya going? Hey! Come back! THERE'S AN AMUSING ANECDOTE ABOUT THE WWII NURSE WHO'S ON THE JURY!

Rats.

Whateve. I have my nights and it's not a criminal trial so it should be quick and all I need is someone to walk my pooch.

Any takers? Seriously, my Stan is a babe magnet.

With Stan on your lead, and spring on the wing, you're sure to pick up more than poo. Seriously my Stan is...

Huh? Where ya going? Hey! Come back! I HAVE A CUTE DOG ANECDOTE ABOUT UH,

Oh, ferget it.


PS This blog template is hideous. It must be stopped. Give me a decade or two and I'll have this fixed up pretty.

Reporting for Jury Duty, Tomorrow 8:30am...
Five reasons I think I will be picked to serve:

My KKK outfit is at the cleaners.

Medical exemption doesn't cover "a case of the frizzies."

Lacking pesky Secret Service detail.

"Primary caregiver" excuse probably won't fly when applied to orchid.

I smell great.

Felber's Frolics
Every Saturday @ 10:30 PM
Ye Old Tripple Inn
West 54th Street Between Broadway & 8th Ave.
NY, NY
212-245-9849
FREE, no minimum

Here's the line up for tonight in no order:

Ben Morrison: Boston Baked, also preparing for some Caroline's thingamajig
Jane Campell: lovely, talented, bonded & insured
Becky Donahue: From Comedy Central, B3 & co-founder, editor, Girlcomic.net
Bob Powers: Also writes for NY Press. Feel the burn, don't forget to breathe.
Bryan Tucker: Comedy Central & current writer for Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Former writer MadTV, Chris Rock show.
Chris Regan: Writer, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart