Spring Flung
By
Susie Felber
Written & performed 1/19/15 for
The Public Theater Presents The 24 Hour Plays®:
A Bennington Alumni Tribute to Nicky Martin*
Photos taken from the rehearsal and performance of this play can be found here on Bennington College Flickr account. All photos from the day here.
Marion
Markham — Julia Powers
Tim Daly —
Clint Powers
Lesley
McBurney — Grim Reaper
Brandi
Nicole Wilson — Summer Autumn Rain
Directed by Lorca Peress
Assistant Director: Deidrea Hamid
Assistant Director: Deidrea Hamid
Stage black. We hear a woman’s scream. It is Julia. Lights up.
Julia is hysterical. She’s on a stage devoid of any furniture.
Julia
Clint! Clint!
Ohmigawd CLINT WHERE ARE YOU?
Clint
enters sleepily
Clint
Julia. I’m here. I’m
here. What the hell are you screaming about it’s... the middle of the night.
Julia
Clint. Ohmygod I
thought. I thought I smelled smoke. And I couldn’t see you and I was yelling,
crawling through flames and…
Clint
How many Klonopin did
you take?
Julia
I didn’t… well two. Two.
But that isn’t it. I… it seemed so real. Didn’t you hear the alarm?
Clint
I’m going back to bed.
Hang on… where’s the bed? Where’s
the walls where’s...anything?
Clint is looking into
the theater lights using his arm to shield his eyes from the glare when Dr.
G.R. enters. She lifts her arm deliberately and slowly and points at them.
She turns her arm over and beckons for them slowly with one finger. They look
at her stunned and then she drops the gravitas and becomes chirpy.
G. R.
Hi! Howdy.
Clint
Who the hell are you?
How did you get in here?
G.R.
I get that a lot.
So I’m just going to cut to the chase. I’m... the Grim Reaper!
Clint
The grim reaper?
You look like a proctologist.
Julia
Honey, no proctologists
are that hot.
G.R.
Well I am a doctor… of
DOOM. (she laughs at her own joke) Ah but seriously, we focus grouped it
and found the whole silent bony guy in a black robe thing was kind of a bummer.
Plus most people thought it looked like a bad New Yorker cartoon.
And people tend to trust doctors.
Julia
We’re dead?
Clint
to Julia
We’re not dead.
G.R.
No you’re not “dead” we
now refer to you as the “previously living.”
Julia
We’re dead. The smoke.
Remember I told you the lights were flickering? And you said it was probably PSE&G.
Clint
And you Googled “lights
flickering” and decided we were doomed. So I told you to take a Klonopin and go
to bed.
Julia
It said something about
power arcing and how that could generate heat and we had to contact an
electrician immediately.
G.R.
Bingo.
Clint
Bingo?
G.R.
You died in a house
fire. About six earth weeks ago.
Julia
Six weeks ago?
G.R.
We’ve been busy. So many
more clients than we had a few hundred years ago.
Clint
I don’t believe it.
We’re not dead.
G.R.
Check out Facebook.
She looks at a phone. Julia, you got over 350 comments on
your wall. Those are pretty good metrics.
Julia
Only 350 comments? But I
have over 900 friends!
G.R.
The algorithm. People
miss a lot. When Zuckerberg gets here... I’m gonna talk to him.
Julia
We’re in a bright room…
with columns. Is this ancient Rome?
G.R.
No, not ancient Rome --
we call it The Entrarium!
Julia
“The Entrarium”
G.R.
It’s to die for, right?
Clint
This is nuts. The grim
reaper is not a hot proctologist, we are not going to the great beyond from a
room that looks like… like friggin Atlantic City because
WE. ARE. NOT. DEAD.
Julia, do something.
Stand on your head.
Julia
I don’t think…
Clint
Stand on your goddamn
head!
Julia reluctantly
complies… stands on her head.
Clint
A HA! See? Not. Dead.
G.R.
Take her pulse.
G.R. takes out a phone
and takes a selfie with Clint and Julia as they are taking her pulse.
Clint
Holy crap.
Clint then
takes his own pulse.
G.R.
Intake photos. Oh look!
Julia, your mom just commented.
Julia
My mother’s been dead
for 15 years...
She reads the phone
“You should let your
hair go curly already. I can’t believe you’re still with that ukulele-playing
hedge fund bum.”
Mom!
G.R.
OK so now that we’re all
ready, it’s time to go.
Clint
Go? No. I’m not going.
I’m not going anywhere!
G.R.
Oh yes… that is an
option. Very old school. Stay on your property and haunt.
Thing about haunting?
New people will move in and trust me — it’s like watching the most boring
reality show…for all eternity.
Julia
I am so not haunting. I
want to see my mom. Besides, Clint, the people who move in here are just going
to complain about how their kids are being tested too much…and they’ll be
gluten-free… Clint let’s go.
Clint
Go? Where are we going?
To heaven? Hell?
G.R.
OK so after the rebrand
-- we did away with heaven and hell. We have membership levels. Let’s
see… Julia. Julia Powers...
she checks her phone
Julia, you are going
Premiere Elite. And Clint — Clint you’re going coach. What we call our
“frequent liars” program.
Clint
I’ve been married to the
same woman for 30 years. I am not leaving her now!
Julia
takes Clints hand
Awww. That’s right. We
go together.
A woman enters wearing a ski helmet.
Summer
Clint!
Clint
Oh my god.
Julia
Who is this?
Summer
removes her helmet and
holds out a hand to Julia
Hi, I’m Summer Autumn
Rain Schwartz.
Clint
Summer. Summer. I’m so
sorry.
Summer
I was Clint’s intern
during my FWT.
Julia
What the fuck is an FWT?
Summer
Winter internship.
Bennington College. They make you do it. Great for the resume…
she starts to get angry
...if you live to
graduate.
Clint
Summer, it was an
accident… you, you fell.
Summer
I didn’t know you had a
wife.
Julia
A wife who thought you
were skiing with your Williams buddies.
Summer
And when I found out and
said I’d tell her, about us… you pushed me.
Julia
Clint!
Clint
The bar was up…you’d
been drinking...
Summer
Goddamnit -- no one over
the age of 13 skis sober! Oh but of course the papers jumped on “drunk
Bennington co-ed falls off ski lift.” I swear if you weren’t dead I’d kill you.
Clint
Oh -- like the world really
needed another interpretive dancer!
Julia
OK, I’m ready.
Summer
You’re going to love premiere
class. And your mom is a total hoot.
Julia and Summer link
arms and exit together happily.
Clint
So. When…?
G.R.
You’ll be here… a while.
Want your ukulele?
Clint nods. G.R. hands
him a ukulele and then exits. He beings to play “Sympathy for the Devil” as
lights slowly fade.
Clint
(Singing)
“Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste…pleased to meet you, I hope you guessed my name..."
 |
| Me & my director for the eve, Lorca Peress |
