I just received an invitation -- in the mail -- to a Gold Medal Award Dinner honoring Jeff Zucker, CEO of NBC Universal Television Group from the International Radio and Televison Society! I am a paying member if IRTS, as it's called, and have been for many months. I adore NBC! How lovely it will be to meet, network and dine with my distinguished colleagues and peers at the Waldorf Astoria!
Oh whatever shall I wear?!?! I must comb the racks of Salvation Armani and Bergdof Goodwill!
OK, don't panic Felber, for you have almost a month to pick out the perfect frock for this grand fete! Oh but I'd best let them know I'm coming, lest they'll think I'm rude for not responding to their gracious invite!
Let's see. I'll just use the enclosed RSVP card and envelope... ah, it's on the web as well, how convenient...
Thursday, March 9, 2006 ~ The Waldorf Astoria, Grand Ballroom ~ Black Tie Preferred
6:30 PM Reception ~ 7:30 PM Program and Dinner
Please reserve the following:
______ GOLD SPONSOR at $100,000 which includes premier seating for 30, 4-color congratulatory page on inside front cover of the Dinner Journal*, plus signage and acknowledgement at the Dinner
______ SILVER SPONSOR at $50,000 which includes premier seating for 10, 4-color congratulatory two-page spread in the Dinner Journal*, plus signage and acknowledgement at the Dinner
______ PREMIER TABLE at $25,000 which includes premier seating for 10 and a 4-color congratulatory page in the Dinner Journal*
______ PATRON TABLE at $17,500 which includes prime seating for 10 and a black and white congratulatory page in the Dinner Journal*
______ SPONSOR TABLE at $12,500 which includes seating for 10
______ INDIVIDUAL TICKETS at $1,250 each
______ 4-COLOR JOURNAL PAGE at $7,500*
______ BLACK & WHITE JOURNAL PAGE at $6,500*
______ BLACK & WHITE JOURNAL HALF PAGE (horizontal) at $3,500*
______ I/We cannot attend but wish to contribute $____________
What? Tickets? The cheapest one being $1,250? The cost of the dental work I've been saving up for since 1995? Where is the option that I, a paying member of this esteemed society can afford? Where is this option...
_____ I can attend and wish to but I can't afford to. I mean, I can certainly bring a bottle of wine, something French, no Thunderbird or "Yellowtail Chardonnay" or something crass like that. Can I come? Please? You see, the thing is...I spent all my disposable income on a IRTS membership, a WICT membership and many other media organization memberships and I am tapped out. I am so hungry. I...I...feel dizzy. Everything is going black. I --