30 Days Hath November

And I posted here every ding dong day of it.

Yay hooray me.

Zzzzz Zzzzzz

Also?

Zzzz

Gotta sleep. Night internet.

"Dental care, dental schmare, my teeth are frackin' awesome -- snow white -- like I floss with a friggin' penguin twice a day. It's like, genetic. That or my being an inanimate object."

I got nothing.

Night internet!

"What, do I have something on my fur? What? Why are you blogging me again?"

Busy, not feeling sharey, promised to update this thing everyday, is all.

An up and down, round and round, loud, comical, colorful, beautiful, tad scary blur.

Yup, motherhood, how apt.

Photo by me, of today. Too sleepy for commentary.

Night night internet.

xo,

me

Thankful.

Urban rustic

Image: By me, but you knew that, right?

Walking in the West Village yesterday, I spied the most amazing thing.

Wine from the future!

So I took a pic with my cheap-o cell phone and then blogged it for truTV, right here.

Thanks for checking it out, if you check it out.

xo,
Susie

Visions of cranberries dance in my head.

Back to work, me.

(and later the treadmill, Thor willing)

Home Officer


As you can see I run Mac, PC & Mutt.

Topical airline security jokes written in 5 minutes.

Going to LA soon and haven't even started my TSA scanner diet.

Not saying the frisks are extreme, but I heard United is changing their motto to "Fly the Friendly Skies with Benefits."

I don't mind the pat downs. Just the fact that I can't have a cigarette afterwards. Or if I do, I have to go through the pat down again, which might make me want to go out and have a cigarette and...

You just have to ask yourself -- what's worse -- someone seeing a picture of your fat, or feeling it and having your peritoneum mistaken for a large explosive device?

In light of the uproar, John Pistole, the administrative head of the TSA, said he "understands the sensitivities of people." He added that he'd be happy to personally show people where their most sensitive spots are.

I'm not saying the TSA are a bunch of pervs. I'm implying it.

Things I can't put on my Amazon wishlist

If I had money to burn, I wouldn't burn it, I'd buy an original Anuszkiewicz.

Or five.

Due Process

I've got a more than a few articles to get done in the next few weeks on top of usual radio and TV stuff and turkey cooking and sweet potato eating stuff.

I pitched them lightly thinking they wouldn't get bought.

So of course, they got bought.

Which is a good thing, except now I better work, gotta work it girl.

If you know me you may also receive a version of the above that includes a plump delicious baby covered in this very delicious cake.

A few years back, a photo of a baby tarred and feathered with their own birthday cake was one of my least favorite things, ranking only slightly ahead of monkeys in bathrooms struggling with the intricacies of toilet paper.

But then I started smoking teh baby crack.

And haven't looked back.

Actually I have. Am doing it now, in fact. Looking back, that is.

Back to work, me.

Public service announcement:

Got my head down working on many new gigs now, but I'm (still) blogging items of wonder over here for truTV.

Now ye know.

Are Pandas a Better Investment than Gold?

Heck yeah.

See me make the case here on the dumb blog.

Wheel Life

Crowley Cheese and roses in my kitchen


Crowley Cheese, pears and carrots in my kitchen and in my baby

Top photo: My Nikon D50
Bottom photo: My crappy cell phone

What happens when I brush my hair out:


Felber lets her freak flag fly

Lawd, this photo is 8 years old. Thanks Google. Thanks Brad.

And Now For Something Completely Different

This is hilarious:

HOW TO: Integrate social media into a funeral but in a classy way.

Trolls in the Hamptons by Celia Jerome

That there is yet another fantastic new book by someone I know.
Now you know.

O What a Feeling

I got cast as Oprah in a cartoon about the letter "O" for Sesame Street. I went totally over-the-top with a booming, regal, caffeinated version for the chat queen. It was super fun.

After my record we learned that the real Oprah decided she would voice it -- a total coup for the production company. And although I got bumped, in a strange turn of events, I actually got paid a bit more because she was involved.

Apart from the producers, and a woman from Sesame, only Oprah and her sound guy heard me. Word came that Oprah thought I was "so cute" and her audio engineer thought my version was aces.

Oprah did a great job as herself. And I have scored lots more voice over work since. Happy happy joy joy. I feel lucky all around.

Sure, I had a brief fantasy that she'd be so crazy about my hilarious Fauxprah that she'd have to know who I was and she'd find my mother's books and she'd be so touched by my sad story that she'd finally choose one of my mother's novels -- even though she never picks a happy-ending title and I'd wind up in the big comfy chair next to her, trying not to get weepy as I discussed ovarian cancer, women's fiction and what it's like seeing your mother through chemo and then hospice when you're pregnant, working and you both know she's not going to make it to the last book on her contract or the grandchild.

In real life there are sublime moments but not many happy endings. But that's why we crave fiction and why in this suck-filled world, escapist fiction is so delicious.

Of course I knew that was absurd fantasyland stuff not fit for telling anyone, but here I am saying it on my blog.

A few days later she selected the female-fearing Franzen as her next and possibly final book-club pick.

It's midnight. That's all folks.

New Old News


Hey I'm awesome part #42466:

Ad Rants picked up my original photo (above) and proofreading FAIL item.

I just sold a joke to Glamour.

Issue and details TK.

New venue for me.

I feel pretty.

The joy of my new freelance life is branching into new venues. Here's one of them: I'm writing for a new Jewish parenting site called Kveller.com. My first piece is chat between my brother Adam and I about how we celebrated Christmas. Check it out below.

The Jews Who Did Christmas on Kveller.com

More to come.

Image: Jewish Christmas Tree Ornament by blind_donkey on Flickr

My boss and a pal both wore the same costumes with their youngest child on Halloween. Noticed this on Facebook, got their blessings and made it an US Weekly type feature w/poll. You have until Wednesday to weigh in on my WHO WORE IT BETTER: Superhero duos in NYC edition. Scope the link above to see the pics and vote.

Image: Just another snap I took of Weehawkoween 2010. Click to enlarge.

Behind the Screams: 23 Horror Secrets Revealed

Link above goes to a photo gallery I wrote and produced that launched just before Halloween.

Lots of fun and the co-writer and director of these flicks is an old Bennington College buddy. So there's the real behind-the-scenes info.

I'm loathe to write the name of the college because although a few of my pals who hail from this liberal arts money drain have made something of themselves, it should have a disclaimer. Maybe something like what Weight Watchers does after every success story they publish:

This movie director attended Bennington College.*

*Results not typical.

One week ago my son, pictured left, turned four. This was cause for much celebration, pictured right.

Photo by the very talented, charming and young Chase Guttman

For this and this I am now a FOAMer -- for life! Click on the genuine gif certificate above to be wowed by this real virtual honor.


Hooray!

Forgot to mention: I've got an article in the current issue of Beer Advocate, seen above. Really.

Yes, still doing all my other gigs: Writing for TV, online, radio and doing V/O. I'm digging this freelance thang. Now, gotta go write jokes for a new venue. Details when and if they fly.

I'm going to post here every day in November. I'm not saying it's gonna be brilliant -- I'm implying it.

Personal blogs -- especially these here Blogger blogs -- are generally old-fangled, neglected and ripe for a recovery.

Plus, even though I manage many accounts, I kinda hate Twitter with the fire of a thousand suns.

And it's good to just do and share any flavor of creative stuff, no matter how crap.

So hi and/or welcome back, enjoy or scoff. I'm doing this for you whoever you are but mainly for me.

Image: One of more than 100 images I took of Halloween in Weehawken. As you can see, Weehawkoween 2010 did not disappoint.