Introducing... Me & My Spawn


Babble is the world's coolest parenting magazine ever. It just happens to be online. So much the better. Print magazines? Not so good with the moving pictures and new content daily, people.

My baby and I will have itty bitty videos up M-F on Babble.com's newly-hatched vlog blog Toddler Tube.

Why should you visit Toddler Tube now and everyday 1000X/day? Here, let me answer some of your imaginary questions:

Q: I have a baby and I think my baby is cuter than your baby, so why should I watch your baby?

A: Well, I know the hormones are powerful, but I'm sorry to say you are incorrect. My baby is cuter than your baby. Really. It's been proven in a lab. You can't argue with science.

Q: I don't have a baby and I don't like babies and I've no interest in babies and my eyes glaze over when I hear about babies.

A: Well, my videos and commentary will not be dull nor will they be serious. They will be mercifully short and quite entertaining. Also, I was once you, so although I'm now babycrazy, I feel you, people who are not crazy about babies. If you find you are still not entertained, return the unused portion for a full refund.

Q: Refund??? I have to pay to view this?

A: Of course not. That was a joke. The site is 100% free.

Q: OK, so I just viewed Toddler Tube and it's so amazing I want to pay you lots and lots of money. Maybe I should take out a second mortgage on my home to do so?

A: Actually, if you are a private citizen, please refrain from sending us all your money. I have a great job writing and stuff for truTV.com, which features totally insane real-life videos that are so far from babydom you'll get whiplash. Anywho, if you are a huge corporation who would like to pay us a truckload of money to endorse something, have your people call my baby -- here's a blog post that contains a handy list of things Hugo baby will and will not endorse.

Q: Your profile pic on Babble is so cool. Who took it?

A: Actually, I took it, via the bathroom mirror last year when Hugo was infantastic. Life was really hard back then. But this picture might fool you into thinking I was and am ultra cool.

Q: Wow, you're just so amazing. Everything you do is awesome. Can I lick you?

A: Thank you imaginary questioner, you're OK in my book. Wait, lick me? What the--

Q: Nothing.

In conclusion, bite-sized baby video and joy awaits you on Toddler Tube!

I am people.

Video link via the world's only super-cool parenting site, babble.com:

Stay tuned Felber watchers...soon they'll be a very exciting babble.com feature from this funny joke teller you won't wanna miss!

Totally Nuts

So the spawn is 15 months old and I've never posted a vid of him. Indulge me. Thanks. Filmed this evening...

Picture = 1,000 words

I made the pic you see here for my Facebook group, Wish Obama Had a Vagina! (but I still might vote for him...).

Group Description:
Are you a woman (or a menimist) who'd be ultra psyched to have a woman President but you aren't sure Clinton is the best candidate? Do you worry that if you vote for Obama you might be selling your sisters down the road? Do you feel like none of the candidates are talking about women's issues so you're screwed any which way? Then this group is for you!

My Position Now:

Barring any pictures of Obama throttling a peck of puppies coming out before now and Super Tomorrow, I am voting for Obama.

My reasoning is very different from my esteemed brother's:

1. I think we need someone other than a Bush or a Clinton.

2. I don't think Hillary can win against McCain. To be honest, in that race, I might go McCain.*

3. While I would love a woman president, she's said nothing that speaks to me as a woman, mother, sister, wife. Maybe she can't, for fear of being -- gasp! -- a woman. But with no proof, I've no reason to think she'd improve our lot. In fact, just like in the Primaries, she might need to put her female agenda on ice. American women are so screwed. We've no paid maternity leave, no flex work options/incentives for business to give us them, or equal pay -- an issue I am passionate about and one I wrote about here.
At the very least, an Obama/McCain race would elevate the dialogue.
SO LET'S GET IT ON! OBAMA - OBAMA -OBAMA! Hey ho -- let's GO!

felber says: GOBAMA!

*My secret: Until this election, I was a life-long Independent. Or, more like, a Democrat-loathing liberal. So I've never voted in a primary. I changed my affiliation to vote in this one. But, I didn't know that unlike my old voting grounds (NY), in New Jersey, unaffiliateds can vote. And why didn't I know this? Because I'm an idiot.