I Hope

I hope the artist who wrote,
"If assholes could fly,
this place would be an airport"
isn't starving.

I Hate

I hate everyone at the coffee bar,
especially,
the people with notebooks and laptops
because they remind me of myself.

I Think

I think men over 35
should only be seen sporting really long hair
in the ID picture they keep in their wallet
to show people they were once cool.

Greeting Cards Waiting to be Made

Friend,
I really appreciate you and you brighten my day
(open card)
Now stop forwarding me internet jokes!

Congratulations on your new baby!
(open card)
Please send me a picture when it no longer resembles a squid.

You Are Very Special
(open card)
But I don't tip at coffee bars

Mid Term Elections
A pal of mine co-wrote this. It does rock. From The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Watch it. Now.
http://www.comedycentral.com/includes/rpmdirect.jhtml?ram=dailyshow%2Findy2002%2Ftdsrocks_300.rm

The Daily Show Rocks the Mid Term Elections
Amazing Schoolhouse Rock parody. My pal Eric worked on it, to boot! No, I did not work on it, just adore it.
Watch it now