Friday, June 30, 2006

Now for a public service announcement...


Free shipping on all orders until midnight tonight! Enter the coupon code GOKINKY in the discount coupon code at the bottom of the shopping cart, and get FREE SHIPPING on your entire order!

Offer expires tonight at midnight. Help us beat our fundraising goal by the reporting deadline of June 30th and save on shipping on great Kinky Friedman merchandise.

Susie says: I've already got a black girlie T for me and one of these, below*, for everyone's favorite NYC sex columnist/erotica writer/cupcake lover, my pal RKB.

It's time to mess with Texas... in a good way

*Can''t get the pic of RKB's shirt now. Will post later.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Enjoy my dog on a picnic table...
6.25.06 David Barkham?
How did mutt from the Bronx become an England fan anyways?

Then enjoy more of me on The New Republic's fabulous World Cup blog...
My latest post entitled, "The Week in Review" is right here.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

PARTY (not in my pants) !

Hey WWW, why not spend your evening celebrating the launch of
Fun! Go! Hooray, hoorah!

I can't make it as I have a hot date with my man to run out after a full day of work to purchase a not-unreasonably-priced bed for our cabin from the Ikea in Satan's Anus New Jersey. Jealous much?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The New Republic's Redheaded Stepchild -- Yup, that's me!

UPDATE 6/28: I was wrong. SO WRONG. I was not being frozen out. The super sweet guy who edits and posts the posts was sick. GAWD I FEEL GUILTY! Still, read my totally absurd post below. It remains a wonderful fun source of pics of my dog in World Cup garb. Then visit The New Republic DOT COM for more hot soccer commentary. And yeah, I've got a new post up today.

After a glorious two whole posts on TNR's GOAL POST, am I being shunned? Or maybe benched is a better word? Seems my posts are being postponed, possibly indefinitely. But why?

Well my last submitted post did refer to Ecuador and Guinea Pigs. So I violated rule #1 on liberal blogs: Nothing indiginous people do is wrong/to be mocked. And sure, I did call TNR, "NPR for deaf people." But come on people, funny 'cause it's true! Oh and Gawker didn't link to Foer's house of World Cup fun after their initial shout out, so I guess my stock plummeted.

Yes, Stan my dog, you're right. I think I've been tabled!
Stan demonstrates the agony of being tabled.

But am I going to let this get me down?
6.25.06 Dog down on the pitch
Stan down on the pitch, demonstrating an injury.

No! No I tell you! I am going to train harder than ever get myself unpaid work on wordy liberal blogs.
6.25.06 Stan's pre-game workout
That's Stan with a real 5 lb. weight, for real dawgs.

Sigh. Well, it was fun while it lasted.
6.25.06 Catskills Dog
You know Stan, it's more analogous to being on the outside looking in, but whatever.

Oh hey! Speaking of NPR, my NPR famous brother is busy working on a new Tee Vee show but just revamped his long-runing site and it now features Chris Regan, Mo Rocca and other possibly real contributors. Check it out! The all-new Fanatical Apathy is here.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Thursday, June 22, 2006

About last night

The Blue Knights had a rally in Little Italy.
bike sea

The noise was deafening.
biker dude
Eat an apple through a picket fence? Done and done!

The choppers were intense...
X view mirror

bike detail
If you think this is scary, you shoulda seen some of their paunches. Shiver!

And some who found themselves in it were mighty surprised.
wrong rally
Did someone say bike rally?

But all bikes,
pastry sign

And no cafe,
cafe sign

Makes for a dull day.
ital c cake 1
Exhibit: Dinner

Ital c cake

I hope you have enjoyed a blatent trying out of the new digital camera
thumbnail 6 2006
by Susie

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Funny 'cause it's true
Er, I am now contributing to very blog I mocked.

My first GOAL POST post here explains it all.

My second GOAL POST post here.

It's me and about 12 smart, nerdy, predominantly-Jewish men -- so it's just like being on a late-night comedy writing staff! Except we're getting 100% less than scale and there's actually a woman.

But seriously, it's crazy fun. Many thanks to FF for seeing my sassy and obnox post on Gawker and letting me play in their reindeer games.

Check it out.

PS When I post on tnr's blog I find I have Pink's refrain on my brain:
I'm trouble.
Yeah trouble now.
I’m trouble ya’ll.
I got trouble in my town.
I'm trouble.
Yeah trouble now.
I'm trouble ya’ll.

I got trouble in my town.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Word Wenches: Serving up saucy verbage since 2006!

Not content with producing one fabulous blog (where you really should go), my mother has recently teamed up with 6 other best-selling romance and historical author pals to produce the fabulousness that is

As mom describes it on her blog,

"We have seven authors blogging -- one for everyday of the week! And what a crew: Mary Jo Putney, Patricia Rice, Jo Beverley, Loretta Chase, Sarah Gabriel, Susan Holloway Scott, and me! Please do come visit us!"

I really enjoy Word Wenches because it mixes the personal (like how one author has been known to write her books in the car while her children are at ice hockey practice) with serious musings on the three R's: research, writing and romance. Oh and when these authors do trivial, it's so well-written and clever, there's nothing trivial about it.

So go on already! Visit the wenches here.

IMHO required reading of me mum on the Wenches includes: Her take on Bad Cover Art, and for purely egotistical reasons, her post about my delicate condition.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Foer your consideration... a blog review in 3 Snippets
by Susie
The New Republic has decided to cover the World Cup with a blog called, GOAL POST: Franklin Foer and friends on the World Cup.

UPDATE! Tuesday 6.20.06
Less than 24 hours after Gawker picked up this post you see below, I opened an email this morning from Franklin Foer hisownself and I am now blogging for the very blog I mocked. And very happily I might add. In the words of Cat Stevens, "Ooooh baby it's a wild world." Read the post that follows and then don't miss my hot-off-the-virtual-presses debut post on's GOAL POST right here.

Here are my thoughts in 3 digestable snippets:

Snippet #1

So who reads this stuff?

Well in this post, Franklin Foer (someone who I think is related to that rich Brooklyn writer who is married to a writer, both of whom I’ve never read) writes,

"It turns out that we're not the only opinion journal/literary review with a World Cup blog. The great John Lanchester is doing the job for the LRB. It's terrific stuff. For you reading pleasure, a small sample:"

For you pleasure, Frank? Allow me to borrow from World Cup mania when I say, "TYYYPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Of course the answer to who reads this stuff is obvious – other writers of opinion/literary journals. …and people like me who clicked because they were confused as to how we got the spam for tnr's website in the first place. I'm pregnant and haven’t had a tipple since winter, so I don’t think I blacked out and registered, but who knows?

Snippet #2

A post by one Glen Luchford is titled:


Because when a literary type asks a real question, it's headline news.

Glen is proposing something about England’s team and he ends with, "What do you think?... Anyone? Anyone?"

And no one leaves a comment. Poor lamb.

I wanted to leave a comment for him but found it's only open to subscribers. Of course a brief look at the comments shows most subscribers are men who only comment to add something pedantic and/or scolding. But this is cool as scolding pedants = their target demo.

However, I saw that Glen is a QPR supporter, so luckily he has developed a keen immunity to disappointment. (Private to EH: zing!)

Snippet #3

The email spam I got touts the blog thusly,

"At the TNR website, we have a World Cup blog that features some top writers--including the memoirist Sean Wilsey and the novelist Aleksandar Hemon--as well as cameos from film directors, TV writers, and other friends of the magazine."

Here’s how *I* would describe it,

"At the TNR website, we have a World Cup blog that features an all-male revue (11 male contributors -- Foer even calls his contributors gents, how adorable and wanna be Brity!) including a memoirist you never heard of and a novelist with a very exotic, sexy literary sounding name -- as well as cameos from a lot of other boys Franklin knows. Come on by and catch up on your sleep or join all the writer's relatives in wondering if the contributors are getting paid for this. In short, if you don’t like photos, levity, a woman’s input or if you don’t mind that they don't update with news when a game happens (UKRAINE TODAY, HELLO?), but rather stick to a majority of talk about England*, you’ll love it!"

Note: Of course I am aware that I probably know/admire or should know/admire some of the contributors and that by making fun I am ruining my chances of ever being invited to some Brooklyn/DC literary-type BBQ where everyone is balding, wearing snazzy glasses and trying to out-facial hair and erudite each other while they also try to figure out how most of them begged, borrowed or stole the downpayment on their real estate, but them's the breaks.

*Full disclosure: My man is from England and to be honest, I too am primarily interested in England. Happy now?

More of me on Soccer here. Other places too, but whateve.

In conclusion:

Hubba hubba! A buffet of USDA prime manliness.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Before I had a digital camera...

I took photos like this:
Dog Eat Dog World, 4/2005

Ye olde diposable camera, served me well.

But now that I have a digital camera...

I take photos like this:
Battledogs! 6.17.06
Not in Kansas Anymore, 6/2006

Stan however, notices no difference, and still happily does battle with the wicked bitch of the West.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Happy Birthday

My 6th birthday party in my backyard. me!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to blow out my catalpas.
Catalpa 6.17.06

Note: The photo above that was not taken on my 6th birthday, was taken today by me with my amazing birthday present. Amazing birthday present happens to be my first-ever digital camera. It's exactly the one I wanted, but didn't know anyone knew I wanted and even if I did know that they knew I wanted it, I would've never expected to get it. Oh and it's thanks to my man and mom and even my Brit relations plotting behind my back. Hurrah hurrah for secret scheming!

Friday, June 16, 2006

My Reel now online. Filled with highlights from my TV, movie and original comedy hilarity, write to me if you are incredibly important in the business we call show and I will send you the link.

This hilarity and more is available on my reel.

PS I cut and spiked that wig myself and FYI, only once did I don a pink wig onstage. Well twice if you count the onstage audition in Brooklyn to make it to Irving Plaza with my flute rock tribute to Kelly Osbourne.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006


I have left MySpace.

Meaning I cancelled my MySpace account.


Some of MyBeefs here.

And also?

Although they have millions of users,
and the service is free,
I started to feel I did not need them
as much as they needed me.


Feh. Just feh. That's what I say to MySpace.

And by leaving while I'm still in the desirable demo, I hope to stick it to the man. The man that is lording the huge #'s of MySpacers over advertisers and possible media partners. I am that fickle Internet audience you fear. But I'm not really fickle so much as not grooving to your horrible design, your garish ads and that moldy did-a-mouse-die-in-here smell I encountered everytime I checked in. In short, yes, I would say that MySpace sucks.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Felber's Blind Items -- contest edition!

I'm meeting an old pal for lunch today. This person is not only supah cool, she is an editor at a magazine here in Manhattan.

Here is an image from the cover of this month's issue. Can you guess what magazine it is she works at?

guess the mag

First one to guess the magazine correctly wins!
Rules: Winner will receive an all-expense paid shout out and link of their choice right here on this blog entry. Contest not open to Felber's immediate family (not like they'd know, but whateve) and residents of Canada, anyone who has ever lived in Canada or anyone who has ever visited Canada.

Hint: Silly goose, The Atlantic is based out of D.C.!

Update: No one guessed correctly, hence no one wins. I'm ashamed of you people. Don't you read magazines with pictures of smoking dogs on the cover? Well, you should. Well here's the answer, but only because this nice chick requested it. It's Shock magazine! Their website here.

Friday, June 09, 2006


...I just don't like the people, the prices or the traffic.

Yup, once again, I'm off to the catskills, dawgs!

We are cool cats, no?

What we lack in restaurants and services,

...we make up for in large buckets and MOXIE!

Some wonderful city friends are coming with us, hang out on the veranda, get drunk and watch the World Cup!

So see ya (wouldn't want to be ya) Hamptons peeps,

Toot toot, beep beep, CIAO!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

I've been tabloidized!

I don't have bodyguards, the paparazzi isn't after me and "tabloidized" isn't a word. However don't miss:

Shocking Baby Bump Shockers! Read it here!

The Apiary has really been letting their freak flag fly lately. I love it.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

And Friday will be Clara and Hot...

From NY1 news this morning:

Link here.

Monday, June 05, 2006

My bro in The New York Times!

Radio and Television
NPR's 'Wait, Wait ... Don't Tell Me!' You Can't Make This Stuff Up. Or Can You?
Published: June 4, 2006

My brother second from right in a rare photo… rare in that he’s not mugging for camera.
Photo by: William Zbaren for the New York Times

Read the article here!

Things to know:

Not mentioned in the article is that my brother will soon be writing for and performing on a FOX comedy show to air directly after Mad TV. Wow, right?!

Speaking of you can't make this stuff up, yes Virginia, there really is going to be a Felberpalooza.
No I'm not going.

You see, I've already had years of communing with kooky liberal NPR fans in the great outdoors. was called college.

But seriously folks, I bet it'll be a hoot and who wouldn't want to tell their grandkids they attended Felberpalooza?

Speaking of grandkids, I put in for some of those with the universe.

I'm pregnant.

(What?!?! A Felber is pregnant! Is it summer sweeps week?)

Well and truly.
Knocked up.
In the family way.

(You may have noticed the blind item on The Apiary? C'est moi!)

Launch scheduled for 10.31.06

(So if the kid is ugly, we can say it's a costume!)

Me and the husband -- known only as "my man" on this blog -- are very excited.

(You need not be excited, but if you are, that's nice.)

More on this as it develops...

(And it is developing... suddenly looks like I'm attempting to smuggle a keg.)

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Golden Girl

I'm going to the 7th Annual Golden Trailer Awards tonight. Jim Gaffigan is hosting. Actually I'm covering the Golden Trailer Awards tonight. What's the difference between going and covering?

If I was merely going to the awards:

* I'd feel guilty about my man having to walk wonderpooch after work when that's normally my shift.

Exhibit wonderpooch, wonderman

* I'd worry my pretty dress wasn't pretty enough, especially since as of this afternoon there's not one, but two salad dressing stains on it in the boobal area.

* I wouldn't be schlepping a camera, a steno pad and a tape recorder.

* I might feel silly about being on the wagon and not sucking down free drinks at the pre-party, show and post party, but as I am covering the awards I can pretend it's me being a professional. (Forget that fact that once I was so in the bag while hosting backstage video for Comedy Central that by the end of the night my celebrity interviews were one sweaty slur. Someday if I'm bored and brave I'll digitize the clip of me interviewing Vincent Pastore. "Interviewing" is a perhaps not the right term for trying not to pass out on him at 4AM while holding a microphone.)

* And finally, if I was merely going to the awards, the probing questions I always like to ask people might make me seem annoying or crazy or hot to trot. Instead, as I am covering the awards my kooky questions will be flattering, heady as champagne bubbles and will seem to float in the air with an ineffable insouciance.

At least, that's what I'm hoping.